Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Yuri's Sausage List: 20 Super-sized Boyfriends, Dates, and Hookups

Lots of guys like big ones, but Yuri likes them enormous.  If it's not a Mortadella+, he throws them back.

Maybe that's why he hasn't had a lot of long-term boyfriends.  It's hard to find a guy that size who is into you, and who you are compatible with.

I asked him for a list of the most super-sized boyfriends, dates, and hookups he can remember. They have to be someone that he socialized with, no bathhouse hookups or sausage sightings at the gym.

Since we lived together and shared frequently, there's a lot of overlap with my sausage list, but a lot was surprising. 7 Kovbasa or bigger, including 1 Kovbasa++++++ (that's 13 inches!).






Volgograd

Yuri was born in 1974 in Volgograd in southern Russia, about 120 miles west of the Kazakh SSR.  His father was a chemistry teacher, and his mother worked in a factory.  One of his grandfathers was a Kazakh from Astrakhan.

The Kazakh wrestler.  In 1988, when he was 14 years old, Yuri visited his cousins and went to a traditional Kazakh wrestling match.  He had his first sexual experience with one of the wrestlers. Probably a Kovbasa.

Sergeant Andreivich.   In 1992, Yuri graduated from the gymnazia and joined the army.  He began a relationship with Sgt. Andreivich, a middle-aged career soldier with a beard and a hairy chest.  It only lasted a few weeks before Yuri was discharged for having a "psychological deviation. Kielbasa.






St Petersburg

In the fall of 1992, Yuri enrolled in a five-year degree program in geology at St. Petersburg State University.  He had a few sexual experiences, usually with older guys with wives and kids, but didn't think of himself as gay. It was just "guys fooling around."

Pyotr from Mongolia.  A student in Yuri's physics class, the first young guy he had ever been with.  Not actually from Mongolia, from Irkutsk, near Lake Baikal.  Mortadella+




New York

In the fall of 1997, Yuri enrolled in the Ph.D. program in Atmospheric Sciences at Setauket University, and moved into a graduate student apartment on campus.

Boomer.  36 years old, very attractive, with a hairy muscular chest, thick biceps, nice abs.  And openly gay!  Yuri had never met anyone like him before.  After a few months of protesting "I'm not gay," he finally came out on the night of a Holiday Party in December 1997, and shared Boomer's bed.  Not for the last time!  Size classified.

Jock from Australia.  The first guy Yuri landed a date with on his own, without getting Boomer's help.  They had Mexican food, went dancing, and kissed under the stars.  Yuri didn't like him, but his Kielbasa+ was nice.



Kalli the Swedish Bodybuilder.  Yuri met him in Estonia in the summer of 1998, and brought Boomer in to "share" without telling him.  Older guy, very muscular, ugly face, Kovbasa+

Claude the Trophy Boy.  The live-in boyfriend of Ravi, who hosted the bear parties on Long Island, a student at Hostra University.  In the fall of 1998, Yuri convinced them to "share."  Mortadella+

Blake the Opera Buff.  We dated in the fall of 1998, but I was more into his roommate, and used Yuri for a "roommate switch."  They continued dating for about three months. Mortadella 

The Basque Muscle God.  In the summer of 1999, Yuri went to France to visit Boomer, and they looked for the world's biggest penises among the Basques of northern Spain.  The older muscle god Garan took them on a wild date. Kielbasa






Chad from the Help Desk.  Yuri usually didn't like young guys, especially skinny, androgynous guys with long hair and earrings, but Chad, an undergraduate computer science major who manned the help desk, was special.  Kovbasa++

Ozzie from Morocco.  The NYU undergrad who Boomer and Yuri met on Long Island claimed to have hooked up with John Kennedy Jr., and refused to leave Yuri's room in the rain.  Kovbasa+

Daniel.  In January 2000, Yuri met his first long-term boyfriend, a history professor into Beat poetry and jazz. They dated until Yuri moved to Florida, and stayed "long distance boyfriends" for a few months after that.  Bratwurst.  

"See, I don't care if they are small!" Yuri told me.

"Um...Bratwurst is above average."

"Well, small for me."






Florida

In  the fall of 2000, Yuri moved to Florida for a job in atmospheric research.  He moved to Wilton Manors, the gay neighborhood of Fort Lauderdale, and shared a house with Barney, a retired bodybuilder who ran a gym.  It was walking distance to a dozen gay bars and restaurants, with a bath house about a mile away.  Yuri was in heaven!  He did a lot of hooking up, but not a lot of dating.

Andrey the Black Canadian.  3% of the population of Nova Scotia is black, mostly the descendants of American slaves who escaped to the north.  They dated for about a month in the spring of 2001.  Kovbasa++.

Jim the Baseball Player.  They met in the summer of 2003, and dated for about a year, but never lived together.   He was closeted, a source of never-ending conflict for out-and-proud Yuri.   Mortadella








The Alpaca Farmer.  Boomer and Yuri shared the Florida cowboy who raised alpacas and had a small alpaca museum on his property.  Not very attractive, but he did have an enormous Footlong.  Kovbasa+

The Bodybuilder Who Never Got Naked.  "I don't throw them back if they're small!!" Yuri protested.  "What about Keith the Bodybuilder?"  They met in September 2004, and dated for about three months, even though he had some anatomical difficulties.  Average.

The Cop.  Actually a DEA Agent who invited Yuri out on a stakeout for their first (and only) date.  Kovbasa







London

In 2005, Yuri moved to London for a job in ecological systems.  He found a tiny, exorbitantly priced apartment in Soho and immersed himself into London's gay community.

 Nasir the Flight Attendant.  Almost immediately, he started dating Nasir, a flight attendant in his early 30s with a soft, slim physique, a number of tattoos, and a Kovbasa++++++, the biggest Yuri had ever seen.  Unfortunately, it wasn't very functional.  They only dated for a few weeks.

Obnoxious Michael.  I can say that now: I just didn't like the guy.  Yuri's first live-in boyfriend and his longest relationship to date, about three years, from 2006 to 2009.  A bodybuilder in his 40s with tattoos, a little belly, and an obnoxious attitude.  Extra-thick Kielbasa




Minsk

In 2009, Yuri moved to Minsk to become a professor of  atmospheric sciences at Belarussian State University.  He didn't like it, and moved back to London after a year.

The Daddy from Minsk.  In the spring of 2010, Yuri had a passionate, if brief romance with an openly-gay muscle Daddy. Kovbasa

London Again

The Pop Star.  Yuri never had a celebrity dating story before he met Will Young, the British pop star who I had never heard of, but whose albums apparently go platinum.  They dated in the spring of 2016.  Kielbasa

See also: My Sausage List

3 comments:

  1. Sorry, I got the Daddy from Minsk and the Pop Star backwards. I fixed the entries.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Will Young was in the movie - Mrs
    Henderson Presents, with Judy Dench! Great movie with sausage! If you haven't seen it its a must!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok, but what does this have to do with Yuri?

      Delete