Monday, December 12, 2016

10 Things You Should Know About Dating Teenagers

Teenagers are everywhere.  They're delivering your pizzas, mowing your lawn, working out next to you at the gym, reading depressing poetry at the coffee house, texting furiously while sitting six-to-a-booth at the diner.

They are generally attractive, with fresh, eager faces, tight smooth bodies that haven't yet gone to fat, even if they aren't particularly buffed, and penises that will never be so frequently aroused again for the rest of their life.

And they're available.  I estimate that about 75% of gay and bi teenage boys are into older guys (a category that includes everyone from age 25 to death), and the others aren't usually, but they'll make an exception if you know your way around a gym.

They are drawn to five things that their peers lack, but daddies have in abundance:  an apartment, a car, a college degree, a hairy chest, and sexual experience.

But before you make a date with that cute guy who is cruising you, there are 10 things you should know:

1. You will have to card him.  Adolescent development occurs at different rates, so the guy who looks like an adult, with hard muscles and hair on his chest, might be only 14 or 15.  Don't take his word for it -- check his id to make sure he's of legal age.

2. He may bring a friend. Teenagers don't actually "date" anymore; they hang out.  They may pair off later for sexual activity, but the social part of the evening takes place in a group.  He won't understand your desire for one-on-one conversation.

Of course, that may work out to your advantage, if the friend wants to share your bed, too.

3. He will be texting constantly.  In his world, it's not rude. His friends expect him to be constantly narrating his life events, and commenting on theirs, no matter what he's doing.

4. You may meet the parents.  In my generation, parents didn't even know that you were gay.  Today's teenagers have been out for ten years, and parents subject their dates to the same scrutiny they give those of heterosexual kids.

5. You will be paying.  Your income is about a hundred times his, after all.

6. There will be drama.  In adolescence emotions run rampant.  He will love you, hate you, and be indifferent to you -- all in the same evening.

7. You will be topping him.  Teenagers think of oral as "fooling around."  They've been doing it with their buddies for years.  Sex -- "real sex" consists of anal, and they are generally bottoms.

8. You will have to insist on the condom.  Teenage brains have a hard time imagining long-term consequences to an act, so safe sex is not usually a concern.

9. No nude pictures.  For sexually explicit photos, the legal age is 18 everywhere in the U.S., so you can go to bed with that 16-year old in Connecticut, but you can't photograph him.


10. He needs mentoring.  He knows little or nothing of gay history and culture.  He may think that all religions are homophobic, or that gay people have always had legal protections.  He will probably be terrified of the upcoming homophobic government in the U.S.

You have a responsibility to be more than a sex partner.  You have to be his link to the gay world.

See also: Teenagers, Twinks, and Cute Young Things on My Dating List; My Scary Half-Date with the Teenage Lawnboy

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