A Hookup with a Filipino Teen Idol

Manila, March 1988

In the spring of 1988, I flew to Thailand to visit Alan, who had moved there to start a gay Pentecostal church.  The travel agent said I would have to have a five-hour layover in the Philippines.

I thought of the Philippines as a "good place" ever since I first saw the orange-colored archipelago in the world atlas my uncle got for me when I was four or five years old.

So I made it overnight, from 11:00 am Saturday to 6:00 am Sunday.

Enough time to go to Rizal Park, the National Museum, and the Manila Cathedral, eat Filipino food, buy some books, and, I hoped, go to the Club Baths for some cruising.

I didn't make it to the Baths.

Who would have thought that the Cathedral was a prime cruising ground?

I saw a very cute guy lighting a candle before the Pieta in the Cathedral -- late teens or twenties, nearly my height, slim, black hair, flawless brown skin.  I am always attracted to religious guys, and I thought he might be a priest or seminarian, so I tried to strike up a conversation in the few words of Tagalog I had memorized.

"Kamusta!  I bisitahin ang Amerika."

He smiled.  "In the Philippines we all speak English."

"Sorry."

"That's ok.  It's nice that you tried."

We ended up having "real Filipino food," ukoy (shrimp fritters), chicken adobo,  and some kind of purple ice cream.

Marco (not his real name) was impressed that I lived in "Hollywood," and asked me if I knew Rob Lowe.  Of course, I said I did.

"He's gay.  I know some guys he's dated."

"I always thought so!" Marco said.  "He's so pambabae, like a girl.  We call them bakla, lady-boy.  I'll take you to see them later -- I know a bar."

"I only like guys who are masculine," I said, coming out to him.

"Me, too."  He brushed my knee under the table.  "Who else is gay in America?"

I told him about my Celebrity Boyfriend.  He was impressed.

"It must be nice to live in America, where you can be gay all the time.  I would like to have a boyfriend, but I will get married and have a lot of kids.  It is inasaahan,.  It is as Mama and Papa hope."

We ended on a tour of Manila -- Marco had a very nice car, for a teenager.  I asked to go to a bookstore -- disappointly, its name was "Books 4 Less," but they had some titles in Tagalog or half Tagalog, half English.  Marco pressed one into my hands -- "The best teen idol magazine in the Philippines."

Marco was cruised constantly, and several people came up and started talking to us.  I figured he was just attractive.  Only later did I realize that he was famous.

Then we went back to my hotel

Marco had a slim, smooth chest and a Bratwurst, uncut but with the head peaking out.  He wasn't into kissing, but he let me go down on him and finish with interfemoral.

He wouldn't spend the night afterwards.  "I have to go back to my real life.  But maybe I will see you again, if I come to America to be in a movie.  I think I could cross-over well, don't you think?"

I didn't know what he meant, but I said "Sure."

The next morning, on my flight to Los Angeles, I started thumbing through the Filipino teen idol magazine Marco gave me.

There was a picture of him!

I had hooked up with a Filipino teen idol.

I didn't add Marco to my stories of dating celebrities, since no one in the U.S. has heard of him.  He's not out -- last time I checked, he was married with several children.  But here are some Filipino actors who have been the subject of gay rumors:

Richard Gomez (top photo)
Dennis Trillo (left)

Piolo Pascual

Sam Milby

Dating an Amputee

Do you find this guy attractive primarily because of:
1. His face
2. His physique
3. His penis
4. His missing arm.

Most people find #4 neutral or even a turn-off, but for a surprising number, it's a big plus, making him infinitely more attractive than guys with four limbs.

The absence makes the whole body stand out in vivid detail, drawing our attention to every muscle.

The lack of symmetry brings a pleasant dissonance, like a minor chord in music.

We're not supposed to look, not supposed to notice; when looking is forbidden, it becomes erotic.

A fetish is a primary erotic interest in an object or part of the human body other than the sex organs.  Acrotomophilia, the amputee fetish, is all about the absence.

Most amputee fetishists prefer guys with a single missing limb, a leg or an arm.

Some prefer double missing limbs, two arms, two legs, or one of each.

A smaller but still significant number prefer four missing limbs.














They can be quite specific about how much of
the limb should be missing for optional erotic potential.

Whatever type of missing limb they find preferable, partners are hard to come by.

Although there are nearly 2 million amputees in the U.S., over half are elderly diabetics with a host of medical issues, probably not interested in erotic exploration.  Less than half have lost limbs due to accidents.





Another 100,000 people are born with limb loss or limb difference, due to a variety of genetic and prenatal factors.

It works out to about 50,000 gay adult men with missing limbs and no significant medical problems that would preclude dating.

With a combination of prosthetic limbs and innovative mobility techniques, amputees can do everything anyone else can do, including drive a car, swim, and lift weights.  There's a guy who goes to my gym who is missing most of an arm, yet has fully defined, symmetrical pecs and shoulders.

There have been very few amputees working in movies and on tv.  The sitcom My Name is Earl was remarkable in having two amputee characters:

Didi (Tracey Ashton), one of the people Earl had wronged ("stole the car of a one-legged girl).

Plus her boyfriend, played by Cameron Clapp, a triple-amputee athlete and motivational speaker (seen here surfing).

The Amputee Coalition offers support groups and assistance to help amputees and their families and friends live to the fullest.  One of its activities is the Paddy Rossbach Youth Camp, a traditional summer camp founded in 2000  that has served  790 children with limb loss and limb difference from the U.S., Britain, Australia, Mexico, and Tunisia.















How do amputees feel about fetishists, people who are intensely attracted to them because of missing or reduced limbs?

Some like the attention.  Anything that sets you apart from the crowd is a good thing, right?

Most dislike being objectified, reduced to only an amputee, just as guys dislike being sought after simply because they are Asian or black, or have large penises.  They want to be desired for their  face and physique, their eccentricities and quirks, their accomplishments, their intelligence, their sense of humor, and everything else that makes them unique.

A G-rated version of this article is on Boomer Beefcake and Bonding.

What Happened on My Date with the Grocery Boy

Plans, March 2017

You're probably wondering what happened on my date Monday night with the grocery boy, aka the face of supreme beauty, aka Zack, the assistant manager at the Hy-Vee.

I picked him up in the check-out line on Saturday afternoon, and invited him over for dinner.  I planned to serve chicken a l'orange, arugula salad, and fried plantains.

7:10

Zack arrives.  I invite him to sit down in the living room while I finish the chicken and make the salad.











7:12

The chicken can simmer for awhile.

7:20

I'm not usually into anal, but who can say no to that face?

7:50

I ask Zack to start on the salad while I finish the chicken and heat the casserole.

7:55

I don't even know his last name yet.

8:10

I'm usually good for just once a night, but....

















8:30

We can do without the salad.  Let me just take the chicken off the burner, reheat the broccoli-cauliflower casserole, and open a can of artichoke hearts.  I ask Zack what he would like to drink.

8:32

He tells me.

8:35

This time Zack calls the shots.

9:00

The chicken and casserole are cold.  I put them in the refrigerator and order a vegetarian pizza from Domino's.  We turn on Netflix while waiting for it to arrive.





9:20

This is why on the first date, you always go out to dinner.

See also: 10 Things You Should Know about Dating an Introvert;  Picking Up the Grocery Boy