The 10 Ugliest Well-Hung Guys

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The "Late for Class" Dream and Oral Sex 101

I have a recurring dream where I'm late for class, but I can't find the classroom.  I run across an unfamiliar campus, try to find a recognizable landmark, rush down the corridors of random buildings, becoming more and more anxious.

I was just there yesterday!  Why does everything look so strange?  I've never seen that coffee kiosk before -- maybe I took a wrong turn, and I'm in the Science Building?  Maybe if I go through this door -- no, it's an art studio....

The clock is ticking.  Class should have started by now. I'm late!

Sometimes I rushed out of the house without getting dressed, so I'm running across the campus naked.

Or I have to push my way through absurdly crowded hallways as the clock ticks and I start to panic.

Or it's the near end of the semester.  Suddenly I realize that I've forgotten to go to the class for the last month!  I run out of my office and down the hallway, but I can't find my way...

 Or I can't find my lecture notes or powerpoint slides, and I've never taught this subject before....

It's always the same class, "Drugs and Alcohol in American Society," which I've taught several times without incident.

"School anxiety," about being late for class or unprepared for a test, is the third most common type of dream, appearing in 73% of research respondents in a University of Montreal study.  The overlapping "late anxiety" is the fifth most common type.

Many people think that these dreams are related to real-life anxieties, but the images are too similar, appearing across countless life situations.  Scientists think that they're probably related to the brain trying to make a coherent narrative out of the neurological changes during REM sleep, and falling back on memories of adolescence, in my case transferred to my job.

Whatever these "late for class" dreams may signify, they're annoying.  Afterwards I have a vague sense of anxiety that lasts through the day.

When I told my friend Gabe about the dreams, he suggested "lucid dreaming," a technique that allows you to orchestrate what goes on in your dreams by rehearsing them in advance.

Before going to sleep, you visualize the dream as you recall it, but make whatever changes you want.  Imagine that the hallways are familiar, for instance, or that you're going somewhere pleasant.

Last night I gave it a try.  I visualized that was walking across the dark, warm, comfortable campus of a clothing-optional college, on my way to teach Oral Sex 101: Oral Sex for Gay and Bi Men.

It was fun making up the syllabus:

1. The physiology and psychology of oral sex.
2. The history of oral sex from the Ancient World to the present.
3. The oral sodomy laws and the limits of jurisprudence.
4. The philology of slang terms.
5. Oral sex in literature, art, and film.
6. The sociological importance of oral sex in contemporary gay communities.
7. Roles and positions.
8. Techniques.

I imagined that today the students would be delivering their research presentations:

"A Comparative Study of the Erotic Pleasure Received through Oral and Anal Acts."
"How Big is Too Big?  Size and Satisfaction for the Oral Bottom."
"Are Big Men More Likely to be Oral Tops?"
"How Many Straight Men Will Agree to Oral Sex with a Gay Man?"
"An Analysis of the Top's Verbal and Non-Verbal Signals During Oral Sex"
"69 as an Act of Political Resistance"

Making up all of that was fun, too, but would it transfer into a more pleasant "late for class" dream?

Eventually I drifted off to sleep.



I had the "late to class" dream again, but my anxiety level didn't go down.  I was even more panicked than before, running wildly down the unfamiliar corridors, desperate to get to that classroom.

I really wanted to see those student presentations.

See also: That Bathhouse in West Hollywood; The Ins and Outs of Oral Sex; The Precognitive Dream about the Boy with the Bratwurst