Summer 1985
July: Dates with Marcus, who has a Beneath the Belt Mystery; the Bulgarian bodybuilder who claims to be Michael J. Fox's ex-lover; Huan, the first guy I met at Mugi; and Arman, the first Hispanic guy I dated.
Aug: Date with Michael J. Fox.
1985-86
I move into a 1-room carriage house on Westbourne, near Santa Monica and San Vicente in West Hollywood. Jobs as an editor at Muscle and Fitness, a human resources assistant at the Community Redevelopment Agency, and an Adjunct Professor at Loyola Marymount College. I begin the doctoral program in Comparative Literature at USC, with courses in Renaissance Literature, French, Latin, and German.
Sept: My date with Robin Williams and his boyfriend
Oct: I start dating Alan, the Pentecostal porn star.
Dec: While I am in Rock Island for Christmas, Alan hooks up with a Norwegian con artist. We break up, but stay friends.
Feb: Alan and I go to Catch One and meet T, the thug on my Sausage List; I try to pick up a teen idol at a Greek restaurant,
Mar: We go to Mugi and meet the kept boy.
May: I land a date with the most conservative professor on campus.
June: I fly to Australia to visit the Cowboy of Kangaroo Island, then spend six weeks in Japan with Alan.
July: We hookup with Jin the Shinto Priest, and share Minoru, the bed-hopping university student
August: Back home, I visit Rock Island for a week; a celebrity tries to steal my boyfriend, Thanh the Vietnamese student.
1986-87
I move into Alan's 3-bedroom apartment near Plummer Park in West Hollywood. We go to the gym and MCC together, eat at the French Quarter, and cruise at Mugi.
Sept: I date Raul, the cook from East L.A on and off for the next two years.
Nov: we bankrupt the porn industry.
Dec: Back in Rock Island for Christmas, Fred and I hook up with the Ginger Boy.
Jan: After briefly breaking up with Raul, I date my celebrity boyfriend through the spring.
Feb: A Valentine's Day "sharing" of one of his friends.
March: At a post-Oscar party, we share the Director and his Cute Young Thing. Then the Celebrity and I break up.
July: A week in Rock Island and then to a conference at Notre Dame. A public encounter with the Catholic Boy
August: Back in West Hollywood: Mr. Muscle Doctor Big Basket; Alan and I visit Tijuana, and meet Bathhouse Boy Alejandro. Alan moves to Thailand.
1987-88
I'm living in a house on Hilldale, off Sunset and San Vicente, with Derek the former fitness model.
Sept: A hookup or date with Mario in the white room. I date Rev. Jasper, a Baptist minister from Gardena.
Oct: I share Raul's housemate, Heinz, a crazy German guy.
Nov: Date with Will, the bondage boy with the Sweeney Todd fetish; birthday date with the chub who knows Jeff Stryker.
Dec: I stay in L.A. for Christmas. Date with my doctor, who makes a housecall.
Feb: My ex boyfriend Fred visits with Matt, the Cute Young Thing who insults both me and Raul.
Mar: I fly to Thailand to rescue Alan from being ex-gay. He soon moves back to West Hollywood. Date with Celebrity Richard Dreyfuss
May: I finish my qualifying exams and begin work on my doctoral dissertation, but my terrible dissertation committee forbids me from saying "gay,"
June: A week in Rock Island. I go to Rocky High's 10th Year Reunion, and drive to Normal, Illinois to hook up with my grade school math teacher.
July: Back in West Hollywood, 4th of July barbecue, Alan tells us about the time he was arrested
Aug: Alan moves to Paris, and Fred and Matt move to Claremont, California
1988-89
Sept: An unwelcome houseguest claims to be Ronald Reagan's ex-lover; I hook up with Cesar Romano; I met the cowboy of Sunset Boulevard, and share him with my roommate Derek
Nov: My terrible dissertation committee requires that I "pick up Russian." I take a job in Turkey. Election Day Hookup: The Romanian Hustler at the Gay Asian Bar.
Dec: Christmas in Rock Island.
Jan: I move to Ankara, Turkey, for a job as an English instructor (the Turkish bodybuilder).
Feb: I visit Alan in Paris. We share the cop Alan cruises.
May, I return to West Hollywood (with a trip to Tel Aviv on the way, and a Sausage Sighting: the Baptist Preacher on the Plane). I leave USC without without writing my dissertation, and begin dating Lane (Lane and his Trophy Boy). We are together until around 1997.
July: Back in Rock Island for two weeks: My sister gets married: Picking Up the Best Man at My Sister's Wedding; sausage sighting of the contractor remodeling my parents' kitchen.
Aug: In West Hollywood, I get a terrible editorial job at the Getty Consternation Institute.
1989-90
Dec: Lane and I scandalize the Orthodox Cute Young Thing; We stay in West Hollywood for Christmas.
Feb: Derek and I share his ex-boyfriend, the Naked Man in the Bathtub; a guy at church who has a new lover every week
April: Lane brings home a sleazoid; I have a date with celebrity Jeff MacKay
June: Back to Rock Island for a week, and then Lane and I look for penises in Poland.
Aug: I move into Lane's apartment on Hacienda, near La Cienega and Sunset in West Hollywood.
1990-91
I try to become a freelance writer, and take classes in Biblical Hebrew at UCLA ("How Are You?" is Not a Question).
Dec: Back in Rock Island for Christmas, Dick and I meet the same Ginger Boy. that Fred and I hooked up with four years ago.
Jan: I meet Lane's friend Randall, the Bear with the Pierced Penis
March: A visit to San Francisco (my first time).
July: A week in Rock Island (The Promised Land of Gigantic Penises); then Lane and I visit Paris, Brussels, and Amsterdam. In Paris, Alan sends us In search of the Lapp Penis.
Aug: I move to Nashville, into an apartment on the West End, near the Parthenon.I take classes in Biblical Hebrew at Vanderbilt Divinity School, and work as an adjunct professor at Middle Tennessee State University. Hookup with Tennesee redneck ( Frozen Custard and Gay Bashing);
1991-92
Sept: the Medieval Knight who didn't want to be outed; the country-western star; and Larry ( discover Larry's fetish; Larry is spanked by an Alabama boy)
Dec: I move back to West Hollywood, take classes an acting and stand up comedy, and try to work as a translator.
March: I meet Ryan the Gay Dwarf. We go on The Worst Date in West Hollywood History
Aug: Back in West Hollywood, I get a job teaching Gay 101 at Juvenile Hall
1992-93
Sept: Lane and I date the teenage beach boy, and almost date the teenage lawnboy
Oct: I sneak Chazz into his boyfriend's bedroom.
Nov: How we invented sex parties; Election Day Hookup: Alan's ex; Thanksgiving in Rock Island.
Dec: Christmas in Rock Island
Jan: At the synagogue, Gershom asks to "practice on me" before his first date with a Gentile.
March: We go to Las Vegas, and to visit Fred and Matt for the weekend. Matt tells about his first night with Fred and his brother.
April: Lane and I land a date with the waiter in a Mexican restaurant.
Jun: We fly to London for a gay Jewish conference: Stranded on The Isle of Dogs On the way back, I visit Alan in Norfolk, Virginia, and meet Tarik, who Alan and his partner fix me up with as a substitute for "sharing.". Alan tells about the time he picked up a father and son in Hong Kong. Tarik tells about his frist time with a white guy, a "blue-eyed demon."
July: A week in Rock Island for my brother's second wedding, and it's back to West Hollywood, where I get a job an architectural assistant at Gruen Associates
1993-94
I take classes in architecture at UCLA
Sept: Lane tells about his three-way with his boyfriend and his brother; Matt tells about having sex with the bartender, on his knees behind the bar Lane and I begin cruising separately: The Silverlake Stud.
Oct: Our hook up with the Eskimo.
Nov: Sick on Thanksgiving.
Dec: Back in Rock Island for Christmas, I re-unite with Brother Byron, the Church Treasurer
Feb: Our Disneyland date with Infinite Chazz
March: Conference in Atlanta.
April: Our multiracial four-way; I bring home a teen hustler.
July: I am laid off from Gruen Associates. Lane and I visit Spain, and hook up with Ramon from Barcelona and his roommate. After a week in Rock Island, I return to West Hollywood and go to work as a job counselor.
1994-95
Nov: We take Marshall the Virgin to his first bear party.
Dec: Back in Rock Island for Christmas, I discover that my parents still have a picture of me and a girl.
Jan: Lane's Boyfriend and Infinite Chazz hit it off.
March: The last half of my scary date with the teenage lawnboy
April: I visit Alan and his partner Sandy in Washington DC, and put on a live sex show for them.
July: My parents are moving to Indiana, so we travel crosscountry to Rock Island to pick up my stuff: The Great Redneck Roundup of 1995: 20 Guys in 20 Days. One of our hookups is the Nebraska Cornhusker.
August: Lane and I move to San Francisco. We get a 2-bedroom apartment off 8th and Judah, in "the Avenues": San Francisco is still gay heaven.
1995-96
I get a job as an administrative assistant at McCracken Architects, and study chemistry at San Francisco City College.
Dec: We stay in San Francisco for Christmas.
Jan: David's first sexual experience, at a gas station in Arkansas; Hookup with the Politician (Fantasy Hookup #3).
March: Drake the bear artist shares his new twink boyfriend; a street hookup with the guy pushing a Shopping Cart Up Castro Street
April: Drake introduces me to Corbin, the gym rat with the Mortadella+ We become gym buddies. Back to L.A. for the Oscar Party. Lane decides to stay.
June; Lane and I search for the Best Gay Neighborhood in America. I get a part-time job at the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, where I meet David. We will be best friends for the next year: David picks up The Bible Boy of Castro Street;
July: I visit Indianapolis, then Norfolk, Virginia to visit Alan. Tarik takes me to North Carolina.
August: I move into my own apartment, a third-floor walkup on 14th, about a mile from the Castro Street Station
1996-97
I take classes in sociology, history, and chemistry at San Francisco State University, and apply to Ph.D. programs.
Sept: David hooks up with the homeless kid; I pick up a sales clerk in the restroom at Macy's.
Oct: I share the slave boy of Castro Street; while street cruising, Corbin picks up the Edwardian with the Footlong and the Fetishes; my date with the vampire. Kevin and I date for the next 10 months
Nov: Election day hookup with the City Councilman.
Dec: Five Three-Ways with Kevin the Vampire. I stay in San Francisco for Christmas; David and I share Santa Claus.
Jan: Kevin insists that I stay in San Francisco, so I apply to teach at an Orthodox Jewish high school and take classes at San Francisco State in chemistry and calculus.
March: Trip to L.A. for the Oscar Party; David meets Karol, who pulls it out.
April: My Hookup with the Martian; A Quiet Night in Gay Heaven
May: I go home with the Amazing Invisible Boy; Matt, Fred's ex, starts renting himself out;
On My Knees in My Teaching Assistant's Office: Kevin the Vampire begins dating my teaching assistant, Seth.
June: A week in West Hollywood (Jester, the Blind Boy with the Footlong.
July: Lane and I visit Paris, Amsterdam, and Lithuania; the Gilroy Garlic Festival with David. I wake up to a straight boy in my bed.
August: I move to New York: Trapped in a dorm with kids, I meet Jesse the 17-year old freshman. We go on my most embarrassing date, with the most insulting ending.
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