Summer 1985

July: Dates with Marcus, who has a Beneath the Belt Mystery; the Bulgarian bodybuilder who claims to be Michael J. Fox's ex-lover; Huan, the first guy I met at Mugi; and Arman, the first Hispanic guy I dated.

Aug: Date with Michael J. Fox.  

I move into a 1-room carriage house on Westbourne, near Santa Monica and San Vicente in West Hollywood.  Jobs as an editor at Muscle and Fitness, a human resources assistant at the Community Redevelopment Agency, and an Adjunct Professor at Loyola Marymount College.   I begin the doctoral program in Comparative Literature at USC, with courses in Renaissance Literature, French, Latin, and German.

Sept: My date with Robin Williams and his boyfriend

Oct: I start dating Alan, the Pentecostal porn star

Dec: While I am in Rock Island for Christmas, Alan hooks up with a Norwegian con artist.  We break up, but stay friends.

Feb: Alan and I go to Catch One and meet T, the thug on my Sausage ListI try to pick up a teen idol at a Greek restaurant,

Mar: We go to Mugi and meet the kept boy.

May: I land a date with the most conservative professor on campus.

June: I fly to Australia to visit the Cowboy of Kangaroo Island, then spend six weeks in Japan with Alan.  

July: We hookup with Jin the Shinto Priest, and share Minoru, the bed-hopping university student

August: Back home, I visit Rock Island for a week;
 a celebrity tries to steal my boyfriend, Thanh the Vietnamese student.


I move into Alan's 3-bedroom apartment near Plummer Park in West Hollywood.  We go to the gym and MCC together, eat at the French Quarter, and cruise at Mugi.

Sept:  I date Raul, the cook from East L.A on and off for the next two years. 

Nov: we bankrupt the porn industry.

Dec: Back in Rock Island for Christmas, Fred and I hook up with the Ginger Boy.

Jan: After briefly breaking up with Raul, I date my celebrity boyfriend through the spring.

Feb: A Valentine's Day "sharing" of one of his friends.

March: At a post-Oscar party, we share the Director and his Cute Young Thing.  Then the Celebrity and I break up.

July: A week in Rock Island and then to a conference at Notre Dame.  A public encounter with the Catholic Boy

August: Back in West Hollywood: 
Mr. Muscle Doctor Big Basket
Alan and I visit Tijuana, and meet Bathhouse Boy Alejandro.  Alan moves to Thailand.


I'm living in a house on Hilldale, off Sunset and San Vicente, with Derek the former fitness model.

Sept: A hookup or date with Mario in the white room.  
I date Rev. Jasper, a Baptist minister from Gardena.

Oct: I share Raul's housemate, Heinz, a crazy German guy.

Nov: Date with Will, the bondage boy with the Sweeney Todd fetish; birthday date with the chub who knows Jeff Stryker.

Dec: I stay in L.A. for Christmas. Date with my doctor, who makes a housecall.  

Feb: My ex boyfriend Fred visits with Matt,  the Cute Young Thing who insults both me and Raul. 

Mar: I fly to 
Thailand to rescue Alan from being ex-gay.  He soon moves back to West Hollywood.  
Date with Celebrity Richard Dreyfuss

May: I finish my qualifying exams and begin work on my doctoral dissertation, but my terrible dissertation committee forbids me from saying "gay," 

June: A week in Rock Island.  I go to Rocky High's 10th Year Reunion, and drive to Normal, Illinois to hook up with mgrade school math teacher.

July: Back in West Hollywood, 4th of July barbecue, Alan tells us about the time he was arrested

Aug: Alan moves to Paris, and Fred and Matt move to Claremont, California


Sept: An unwelcome houseguest claims to be Ronald Reagan's ex-lover; I hook up with Cesar Romano; I met the cowboy of Sunset Boulevard, and share him with my roommate Derek

Nov: My terrible dissertation committee requires that I "pick up Russian."  I take a job in Turkey. 
Election Day Hookup: The Romanian Hustler at the Gay Asian Bar.

Dec: Christmas in Rock Island.

Jan: I move to Ankara, Turkey, for a job as an English instructor (the Turkish bodybuilder).  

Feb: I visit Alan in Paris.  We share the cop Alan cruises.

May, I 
return to West Hollywood (with a trip to Tel Aviv on the way, and a Sausage Sighting: the Baptist Preacher on the Plane).  I leave USC without without writing my dissertation, and begin dating Lane (Lane and his Trophy Boy).  We are together until around 1997.

July: Back in Rock Island for two weeks: My sister gets married: Picking Up the Best Man at My Sister's Wedding; sausage sighting of the contractor remodeling my parents' kitchen.

Aug: In West Hollywood, I get a terrible editorial job at the  Getty Consternation Institute.  


Dec: Lane and I scandalize the Orthodox Cute Young Thing
We stay in West Hollywood for Christmas.

Feb: Derek and I share his ex-boyfriend, the Naked Man in the Bathtub; a guy at church who has a new lover every week

April: Lane brings home a sleazoid; I have a date with celebrity Jeff MacKay

June: Back to Rock Island for a week, and then Lane and I look for penises in Poland.

Aug: I move into Lane's apartment on Hacienda, near La Cienega and Sunset in West Hollywood.  


I try to become a freelance writer, and take classes in Biblical Hebrew at UCLA ("How Are You?" is Not a Question).

Dec: Back in Rock Island for Christmas, Dick and I meet the same  Ginger Boy. that Fred and I hooked up with four years ago.

Jan: I meet Lane's friend Randall,  the Bear with the Pierced Penis

March: A visit to San Francisco (my first time).

July: A week in Rock Island (The Promised Land of Gigantic Penises); then Lane and I visit Paris, Brussels, and Amsterdam.  In Paris, Alan sends us In search of the Lapp Penis.

Aug: I move to N
ashville, into an apartment on the West End, near the Parthenon.
I take classes in Biblical Hebrew at Vanderbilt Divinity School, and work as an adjunct professor at Middle Tennessee State University. Hookup with Tennesee redneck ( Frozen Custard and Gay Bashing);


Sept:  the Medieval Knight who didn't want to be outed; the country-western star; and Larry ( discover Larry's fetish; Larry is spanked by an Alabama boy)

Dec: I 
move back to West Hollywood, 
take classes an acting and stand up comedy, and try to work as a translator. 

March: I meet Ryan the Gay Dwarf.  We go on The Worst Date in West Hollywood History

 July: A week in Rock Island.  Then Lane and I go to Paris, Brussels, and Amsterdam, and track down the gay baron of Eindhoven.

Aug: Back in West Hollywood, I get a job teaching Gay 101 at Juvenile Hall


Sept: Lane and I date the teenage beach boy, and almost date the teenage lawnboy

Oct: I sneak Chazz into his boyfriend's bedroom.  

Nov: How we invented sex parties;  
Election Day Hookup: Alan's ex; Thanksgiving in Rock Island.

Dec: Christmas in Rock Island

Jan: At the synagogue, Gershom asks to "practice on me" before his first date with a Gentile.

March: We go to Las Vegas, and to visit Fred and Matt for the weekend. Matt tells about his first night with Fred and his brother.

April: Lane and I land a date with the waiter in a Mexican restaurant.

Jun: We fly to London for a gay Jewish conference:  Stranded on The Isle of Dogs  On the way back, I visit Alan in Norfolk, Virginia, and meet Tarik, who Alan and his partner fix me up with as a substitute for "sharing.".  Alan tells about the time he picked up a father and son in Hong Kong. Tarik tells about his frist time with a white guy, a "blue-eyed demon."

July: A week in Rock Island for my brother's second wedding, and it's back to West Hollywood, where I get a job an architectural assistant at Gruen Associates


I take classes in architecture at UCLA

Sept: Lane tells about his three-way with his boyfriend and his brother;  Matt tells about having sex with the bartender, on his knees behind the bar  
Lane and I begin cruising separately:  The Silverlake Stud.

Oct: Our hook up with the Eskimo.

Nov: Sick on Thanksgiving.

Dec: Back in Rock Island for Christmas, I re-unite with Brother Byron, the Church Treasurer 

Feb: Our Disneyland date with Infinite Chazz

March: Conference in Atlanta.

April: Our multiracial four-way; I bring home a teen hustler.

June: Infinite Chazz is dating Kris, a 19-year old ginger boy who helps me get a sausage sighting of Christopher Atkins;  Why Infinite Chazz Broke Up with the Ginger Boy

July:  I am laid off from Gruen Associates.  Lane and I visit Spain, and hook up with Ramon from Barcelona and his roommate.  
After a week in Rock Island, I return to West Hollywood and go to work as a job counselor.


Nov: We take Marshall the Virgin to his first bear party.

Dec: Back in Rock Island for Christmas, I discover that my parents still have a picture of me and a girl.

 Jan: Lane's Boyfriend and Infinite Chazz hit it off.

March: The last half of my scary date with the teenage lawnboy

April: I visit Alan and his partner Sandy in Washington DC, and put on a live sex show for them.

July: My parents are moving to Indiana, so we travel crosscountry to Rock Island to pick up my stuff: The Great Redneck Roundup of 1995: 20 Guys in 20 Days.  One of our hookups is the Nebraska Cornhusker.

August:  Lane and I move to San Francisco.  We get a 2-bedroom apartment off 8th and Judah, in "the Avenues": San Francisco is still gay heaven.


I get a job as an administrative assistant at McCracken Architects, and study chemistry at San Francisco City College.

Nov: The leatherman who never left South of Market

Dec: We stay in San Francisco for Christmas.

Jan: David's first sexual experience, at a gas station in Arkansas;  Hookup with the Politician (Fantasy Hookup #3).

March: Drake the bear artist shares his new twink boyfriend; a street hookup with the guy pushing a Shopping Cart Up Castro Street

April: Drake introduces me to Corbin, the gym rat with the Mortadella+  We become gym buddies.  
Back to L.A. for the Oscar Party. Lane decides to stay.

June; Lane and I search for the Best Gay Neighborhood  in America. I get a part-time job at the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, where I meet David. We will be best friends for the next year: David picks up The Bible Boy of Castro Street;

July: I visit Indianapolis, then Norfolk, Virginia to visit Alan. Tarik takes me to North Carolina.

August: I move into my own apartment, a third-floor walkup on 14th, about a mile from the Castro Street Station  


I take classes in sociology, history, and chemistry at San Francisco State University, and apply to Ph.D. programs.

Sept: David hooks up with the homeless kid I pick up a sales clerk in the restroom at Macy's.

Oct: I share the slave boy of Castro Streetwhile street cruising, Corbin picks up the Edwardian with the Footlong and the Fetishes; my date with the vampire.  Kevin and I date for the next 10 months

Nov: Election day hookup with the City Councilman.

Dec: Five Three-Ways with Kevin the Vampire.  
I stay in San Francisco for Christmas; David and I share Santa Claus.

Jan: Kevin insists that I stay in San Francisco, so I apply to teach at an Orthodox Jewish high school and take classes at San Francisco State in chemistry and calculus.

March: Trip to L.A. for the Oscar Party; David meets Karol, who pulls it out.

April: My Hookup with the Martian;  A Quiet Night in Gay Heaven

May: I go home with the Amazing Invisible BoyMatt, Fred's ex, starts renting himself out
 On My Knees in My Teaching Assistant's Office: Kevin the Vampire begins dating my teaching assistant, Seth.

June: A week in West Hollywood (Jester, the Blind Boy with the Footlong.

July: Lane and I visit Paris, Amsterdam, and Lithuania; t
he Gilroy Garlic Festival with David. I wake up to a straight boy in my bed.  

August: I m
ove to New York: Trapped in a dorm with kids, I meet Jesse the 17-year old freshman.  We go on my most embarrassing date, with the most insulting ending.

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