Saturday, June 24, 2017

Trapped in a Dormitory with College Freshmen

Long Island, August 1997

On August 26th, 1997, at 10:00 pm, I got on an airplane with two suitcases, leaving friends, my boyfriend, most of my stuff, and memories of home, to go to graduate school at Setauket University in New York.

Eight hours later, after a layover in Chicago, I arrived at LaGuardia.  I had never been to New York before. I expected skyscrapers and subways.  Instead, I found the suburban sprawl of the Straight World.

The admissions guy said that Setauket was 30 minutes from New York City.  He lied!  From LaGuardia Airport it took 2 hours by train, with a change at Jamaica station.

Exhausted after a night with no sleep, I got to the campus at a little after noon, only to find the Housing Office closed for lunch.

When I returned at 1:15, they had no idea who I was.  There was no application for graduate student housing on file.

I was standing in the middle of Long Island with two suitcases, a day before classes started, with no place to stay!

"Don't worry," the housing clerk said.  "We can move you into emergency housing until a graduate student apartment opens up.  It shouldn't be longer than a week or two."

She gave me a key to a room in the freshman dormitory!

Two bunk beds, four desks and chairs, two shared closets, bathroom down the hall. With three freshman boys as my roommates.

I know what you're thinking -- were they cute?  Did you get a sausage sighting?

The answer is, it never occurred to me.

1. I was not yet a twink magnet, not used to the idea of guys who were substantially younger.

2. I was already feeling self-conscious about my age, being the oldest graduate student in my program by about ten years. And now I was surrounded by 17 and 18 year olds.  They would think I was a freshman, too.  I was too humiliated to think of biceps and bulges.

3. Twinks were uncommon in San Francisco -- the money and energy it takes to live in Gay Heaven were beyond the means of most 20-year olds.  So I had spent the last two years surrounded by guys in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.  From my perspective, a 17 year old looked a little kid.

Sniveling homesick babies crying into their pillow and getting various fevers that made them go to the nurse constantly.

Rambunctious Bart Simpsons wearing "Dare to Misbehave" t-shirts as they skateboarded down the hallways at 2:00 am.

 The staff treated us like kids, too.  Nightly room inspections to make sure we don't have any contraband -- including free weights, musical instruments, open food containers, and porn magazines.

Daily "hall meetings," required even for me and the 10 or so other grad students put in emergency housing.  With required ice breaker activities like "You're going on a picnic.  Everybody has to bring something starting with the first letter of your last name."

I'm bringing dynamite.

The next day I went to the housing office to see if an apartment had opened up.  And the next.  And then it was Saturday; I took the train into Manhattan, but had to be back by the 11:00 pm curfew.

Yes, freshman dorms had curfews, even for 36-year olds.

Monday was Labor Day.  Campus offices are all closed.

On Tuesday I went to the housing office again -- nope -- and then started my classes: two graduate seminars and teaching assistant for an intro class.

Two of my roommates were my students!

Then I went back to the freshman dorm to sit at a table full of rambunctious kindergarteners for dinner, followed by a required "hall meeting" with  ice breaker activities for little kids.

"Write down three things about you, two lies and one the truth.  We have to decide which is true."

I had a four-way with Brad Pitt.
I went down on a guy with 11" backstage at the Hollywood Bowl.
I can suck a golf ball through a garden hose from 50 feet away.

No, I didn't use those.  I said something about having studied 10 languages, owning a pet iguana, and having starred in Star Trek: The Next Generation.

After the ice breaker they served ice cream sandwiches, but I wanted to high-tail it back to my room to hide from the humiliation of being treated like a 17 year old. But on the way, one of the freshman coat-tailed me.

His name was Jesse, and his true statemnt had been "I spend summers on a ranch."  He was tall and slim, with thick black hair, pale skin, and a snarky grin.

"Hey, sir, do you really speak 10 languages?"

"Studied, not speak.  Ni hau bu hau?"

"That's cool.  Want to play pingpong, sir?"  He emphasized the "sir" in a snarky way.

Why not?  It beat hiding in my dorm room, with no computer and no tv, for the next four hours, until lights out.

Still, as we played, I couldn't help thinking of the humiliation.  Having lived in my own apartments for 14 years, I was playing pingpong in the lounge of a freshman dorm with a little kid.

"If you don't mind my asking, sir, how old are you?" Jesse said.

"17, Sonny.  I stopped counting birthdays in 1978."

He did the math.  "You're only two years younger than my Dad.  Cool!"

Jesse also found it "cool" that I was from California, that I had studied Comparative Literature at USC, and that I knew a lot of celebrities, including Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Cruise, and Brad Pitt (ok, so I made some up).

"I never met anyone yet.  I'm just a farmboy from Ulster County."

"How old are you?" I asked.

"42.  I'm young looking for my age.  So I guess you have to call me Daddy.  So, what brings you to college, sir?  Senior citizen tuition remission?"

"I like little boys, and this is the best place to find some," I said with a leer.

He stared at me for a moment, then laughed.  "You got a good sense of humor on you, sir.  Hey, do you want to see something cool?  I've been here for a week -- baseball practice -- so I know my way around.  Meet me in the 3rd floor bathroom at 11:30.  They don't do dorm checks until 1:00, so we'll have about an hour."

At age 36, having lived on my own for 14 years, I was in a freshman dorm, having a late-night adventure.  I just hoped Jesse wasn't taking me on a panty raid.

Jesse was carrying a blanket and a pair of binoculars.  He led me to a stairwell, up two flights of stairs, down a hall, up another stairwell, and we were on the roof.

It was a warm, clear night.  We lay side by side on the blanket, and Jesse handed me a pair of binoculars and pointed.

We could see directly through most of the windows of the dorm next door.  It was for upperclassmen, who had no curfew, so most of the windows were lit.  College guys sitting at desks, lying on bunks, roughhousing.

Bare chests, once a bare butt.

"It's like a dozen little live theaters. I keep hoping I'll see someone beating off, but it hasn't happened yet."

"The night is young."

I overcame my humiliation long enough to go down on Jesse (the age of consent in New York is 17). Small with a mushroom head, cut, big load.  He called me "sir."

But mostly from that night I remember the "live theater" of a dozen lit windows.

The next day an apartment opened up, and I met the roommate from hell.

See also: My Date with the Teenager and his Mom; Gay Panic and the Obnoxious Roommate; My Most Embarrassing Date

Friday, June 23, 2017

Are Mike and Calvin Friends or Lovers?

Wilton Manors, October 2004

You're at a party, and you want to know if it's ok to flirt with that hot person who came with the hetero guy.  Are they just friends, or lovers?

Easy: if it's a man, they're friends.  You may occasionally be mistaken, but 99 times out of 100, you can distinguish between friends and lovers by gender.

If you're not sure, check their level of physical intimacy.  Heterosexuals rarely sit with their hands on their friend's knee, or make out with them, or go down on them.

If you're still not sure, find out if they live together.  Heterosexuals over age 25 usually shy away from living with friends, thinking of it as "juvenile": grown-ups should only live with lovers.

With gay men, it's not so easy.

1. Friends and lovers are typically both men.

2. Friends have no qualms about physical intimacy.  They are perfectly willing to make out with you, or to go down on you.  But sometimes lovers are sexually incompatible, and rarely do anything.

3.  Friends often live together, and lovers sometimes do not.

4. Guys often have very close, inseparable friends.

But you have to be able to distinguish.  It's extremely rude to invite one lover but not the other to a party, to give a Christmas present to one but not the other, or even to hold a conversation with one without asking "How's your boyfriend?"

It's even more rude to cruise a guy's lover.

Mike and Calvin were two guys who worked out at Barney's gym: both in their 30s, buffed but not bodybuilders, with smooth chests and big biceps.  Mike was taller, pale/Anglo, and a little more buffed.  Calvin was shorter, dark/Hispanic, with longer hair, and a bigger penis (I saw them both in the shower).

I was interested in Calvin.  But I couldn't cruise him openly, until I knew whether they were friends or lovers.

And of course I couldn't just ask.  It was a complete taboo to ask "Are you guys together?"  It reminded us of growing up in the straight world, where two guys together were automatically assumed friends, where gay people were assumed not to exist.

So I had to figure it out some other way.  In weight room conversations, I learned that Mike was from Ohio, and had lived in Florida for three years.  He worked in the hospital.  Calvin grew up in Miami, and worked in a souvenir shop.  

That's all very interesting, but are you friends or lovers?

"Do you live together?" I asked.

"Oh, no, Mike has his own place," Calvin said.  "You should see his roommate!  Super-hot, but not into sharing."

That wasn't conclusive: you could share with friends or lovers.

They always lifted together, but they did separate cardio: Calvin on a treadmill, Mike on an elliptical (nobody jogged outside in Florida).  So I chose the treadmill next to Calvin and quizzed him for more details.  He came out as a teenager; his parents, conservative Catholics, tolerated him but didn't allow him to bring friends or boyfriends around: "They've never met Mike."

Suddenly Mike appeared on the treadmill on the other side of Calvin, and started a conversation of his own.

Jealous?  Trying to steer Calvin away? They must be lovers!

But at least I could have sex with Calvin.  Sharing seemed out of the question, but I could invite them to a party with sex games...

I approached them in the locker room.  "Barney, the gym owner, is having a party Saturday night, and we'd like you to come."

"I think we're busy," Mike said.

"Oh, come on," Calvin said, "You're always complaining that we don't meet any normal gay guys, just club kids into nonstop dancing and sex.  Won't it be nice to just hang out and have a conversation, without a lot of pressure to get naked?"

Uh-oh.  Getting naked was exactly what I had in mind!

So I planned a sedate, non-erotic dinner party, with Trivial Pursuit and a gay-themed DVD instead of sex games, and invited Yuri and his boyfriend Keith, Barney, Wade the Beach Boy, and Mike and Calvin.

When it came time for the celebrity dating stories, I told about my lunch with Michael J. Fox, without turning it into an energetic session of oral sex.

Mike and Calvin sat together on the couch, occasionally grabbing each other's knee or whispering in each other's ear.

When we played Trivial Pursuit, Mike and Calvin were on my team.  I tried to sit next to Calvin, but Mike pushed his way between us.

Possessive much?

Before we started the movie, Yuri and I went into the kitchen to dish out the dessert (low-fat pumpkin fluff with graham crackers).  Calvin followed.

"You guys need any help?"

"We got it, thanks," I said.

He wrapped his arms around me from the rear.  "So when you going to ask me out, Papi?"

I turned to face him.  Our crotches pressed together.  "Um...I thought..."

I glanced over at Yuri for help.  He was bent over the coffee maker, pretending not to notice.

"I know, Mike isn't being very nice.  He thinks you're not good enough for me.  But he's not my Daddy -- I can pick my own men."  He kissed me briefly.  "So, about that date..."

Calvin and Mike were friends after all!

In case you were wondering: anal bottom, but I talked him into letting me go down on him and doing interfemoral.

We only had one date, and I never got to share with Mike, who still didn't approve.

See also: The Georgia Boy Hooks Up with the Waiter

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Nude Photo of Jack Dempsey

Jack Dempsey (1895-1983) was the most famous boxer in the world during the 1920s, world heavyweight champion from 1919 to 1926.  His fight against French boxer Georges Carpentier on July 2, 1921, dubbed "The Fight of the Century," was the first sporting event to receive live radio coverage.

He retired from boxing in 1927 and capitalized on his fame to lend his name to a series of business enterprises, including casinos and restaurants.

He was married four times and had three children, but, according to rumor, was a hit at the "homo parties" in Hollywood in the 1920s.

And there's a nude photo.

The face looks like him.  The body is a little more defined, but he is younger, in his late teens or early 20s.

It may be from the German movie Weg zu Kraft und Schonheit (1925), which used nude models, including Johnny Weissmuller and Jack Dempsey, to illustrate Roman sports, gymnastics, and dance.  It's available on youtube, but I don't find Dempsey there.

Here's a bulge shot.  Compare, and see if the penises could be the same.

Yuri and I Go to Amsterdam to Visit the Horsemen's Club

Amsterdam, June 2017

June has been a month for visiting old friends, or having them visit me -- first David, then Lane, and now Yuri, who I met in grad school in New York in 1997.  He's an atmospheric scientist, 43 years old, short and rather buffed, smooth chest, bright open face, thick brown hair.  No wrinkles, no grey hair, could easily pass for 30.  He must have a picture in an attic somewhere.

He lives in London, but I usually arrange to meet him somewhere else in Europe: Minsk in 2009, Paris and Amsterdam in 2011, Iceland last October.  And now Amsterdam again.

Except this year we'll be in town for the Horsemen's Club!

It used to meet every Sunday afternoon at the Argos Bar on Warmoesstraat: a club for men with at least 20 centimeters (about 8 inches) -- they measured you at the door. No sex, but a lot of groping, fondling, and cruising.

Then they changed it to big men and their admirers.  Everyone was welcome, but 20+ centimeters got in free.  And they allowed safe sex.

I used to go every year, but now that it only meets on the third Sunday of the month, it's hard to arrange trips to coincide with it.  This year, though, I arrange my vacation with Yuri to be in Amsterdam on June 18th.


My flight to Amsterdam arrives at 8:15 am.  I take the train to the Central Station  and go cruising at Drake's Boutique on Damrak, near the Oude Kirk.    I go down on three guys: older, wearing a business suit; a burly truck-driver type; and a tall, slim Asian guy.

If it's this busy in the morning, what's it like at 9:00 pm?

Yuri arrives at 11:30.  We have lunch and then take the train to Utrecht, an hour away, to visit my Suriname friend Eli: 29 years old, very dark skin, handsome face, average penis.

He takes us on a city tour, and to dinner at Djakarta, an Indonesian restaurant, then back to his apartment for "sharing."  He's into kissing and cuddling, but also an anal top.  After I go down on him, he tops Yuri.

I'm too jetlagged to pay much attention.


 After breakfast, we take the train back to Amsterdam and check into our hotel, which is right next door to the Nieuwe Kirke.  We visit the Rijksmuseum and the Stedelijk Museum of Modern Art, work out at Health City, and then go to PRIK and Dirty Dicks.

We "share" a tall, thin twink from Germany who has a Mortadella+: Yuri and I take turns kissing him and going down on him, and then he goes down on us at the same time.

Afterwards we go to The Eagle, a leather cruise bar, and pick up Eser, a Turkish bear in his 30s with a hairy chest, hairy arms, a small belly, and a cut Kielbasa.  He lets me go down on him while he's kissing Yuri, and then he tops Yuri while he's going down on me (try it).


We go to the Rembrandt House, the Museum Van Loon, and the Tropenmuseum, and go jogging at Ooster Park.

Eser meets us for dinner at Montmatre, and takes us cruising at Spijker and the Web.  Yuri and I go to the dark room and kiss while guys we can't see are going down on us.  

Then Eser invites us both back to his apartment to "share" his hookup: Paul, a French otter (slim with a hairy chest), in his 20s, with a long face and a Bratwurst+.

I go down on Paul while Yuri is going down on Eser, and then we switch positions.  Surprisingly, Paul turns out to be into anal, so he tops Yuri (with a condom, of course).  Eser asks to top me, but I refuse; instead, I talk him into interfemoral.

Afterwards we return to our hotel.


I go to services at the Old Lutheran Church while Yuri works out, and then we meet for lunch at a Thai place.

"The Horsemen's Club open at 3:00," I tell him.  "I can't wait -- it's been too long!"

Yuri looks down at his plate.  "Maybe you will go alone.  I will go to the Bijbels Museum and meet you later."

Huh?  "But the Horsemen's Club is the reason we came to Amsterdam!"  I'm not a big fan of the city overall -- it's dirty, rundown, a little rough, very sleazy, and there are entirely too many drunk and high foreigners making fools of themselves.

"The reason you came, maybe.  I came here to see you."

"'re totally into bigger guys!  If it's under 8 inches, you throw it back!"

"Yes, but..."

"Is it because of your size?  I don't measure up either, but I always got in, even when it was 20 centimeters only.  Now it's open to all big guys and their admirers."

"My size is good, thanks."

"Your age?  So you're in your 40s.  I'm 56 years.  Being older is only a problem if you don't like twinks cruising you all the time."

"My age is good, too.  But...since we came here, I am topped four times.  That is more than usually for me in a month.  My butt is sore, and I am tired.  It is too much cruising.  On our last day in Amsterdam.  I want to do quiet, peaceful things."

So we go to Vondel Park and look at the cute guys running shirtless through the grass.

We go to a street market, where I buy a 19th century ex libris plate.

We stop for ice cream.

We browse in the Book Exchange.

In the evening we stay in our hotel room and watch tv.

Best day in Amsterdam ever.

See also: I Become a Birthday Present at the Horseman's Club

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Sausage Sighting of My Cousin Buster

Garrett, Indiana, December 1973

Whenever we visited my parents' family in Indiana, I wanted to stay with my Cousin Buster, who lived in the Trailer in the Deep Woods. He was almost two years older than me, and much more adventurous, dragging me into adventures in the cornfields and patches of raw trees.  We made magic swords, dug for buried treasure, caught frogs that were really witches in disguise.

When I was little, I liked to stay overnight in the trailer, crammed beside him in his narrow bed,  giggling and talking and reading Casper comic books.  I always waited for him to fall asleep first, so I could watch his bare chest rise and fall, his eyebrows flutter, his lips purse together in a dream.

When I grow up, I thought, I'll sleep like this every night, with a boy next to me, warm and hard in the night, reading comic books.

Once we arrived late, and he was already asleep.  I slipped out of my clothes and slid into bed and put my arms around him.  He smiled.

But the last few visits, we stayed with my Aunt Nora in Rome City, who had "plenty of room," so there was no need for me to "bother" my cousin by spending the night in his bed. We just dropped in for brief visits.

In December 1973, I had just turned thirteen, and Cousin Buster was fifteen [all models in the illustrations are over 18].

He was built, with a hard chest and thick biceps visible under his brown t-shirt.  He a round face with thin blond hair and blue eyes.  Big hands.

We sat in his bedroom -- the comic books and G.I. Joes were gone -- and talked about classes and Adam-12 and the cute girls who hung out at the Blue Moon Drive In.

Cute girls?  What about spending the night with boys, reading comic books, cuddling, falling asleep in each other's arms? 

"I have a date tomorrow," Cousin Buster said.  "To go ice skating.  She could get a girl for you, and we could double."

I didn't want to date girls!  "Um...thanks, but we're staying in Rome City.  My parents wouldn't want to drive all the way back here to pick me up afterwards."

"You could spend the night.  Just like when we were kids."

Now I wanted to go!  I ran out to the living room to ask my parents if it was ok.

So on December 27th, I went ice skating on a frozen pond with Cousin Buster and two girls (I don't remember who drove, somebody's father or an older kid). Then we stopped for hot chocolate, the girls on one side of the booth and the boys on the other.

Eventually someone's father or an older kid dropped us off at the trailer.

 Finally the ordeal was over!  Now we could get back to our real life, the only life that made sense, two boys together, cuddling in the night.

Cousin Buster's Mom and Dad were already in bed, so we quietly raided the refrigerator for leftover Christmas pie.  Then he pulled some blankets and pillows out of a closet and made up the couch for me.

Wait -- we're supposed to sleep together! I thought frantically.  Two boys cuddling!  

But I didn't say anything.  I gamely slipped out of my clothes and climbed onto the couch.  Cousin Buster said "Goodnight" and vanished into his room.

It was a small trailer.  From my couch bed, I could see the light from under Cousin Buster's door.  I expected it to go off in a few minutes, but it didn't.

Was he reading?  Watching tv?

The light stayed on.

Maybe he was lonely.  Maybe he wanted two boys together, in spite of our evening with girls.  Maybe he wanted me to join him but wasn't sure how to ask.

I got up, walked gingerly across the bare floor, and pushed open his bedroom door.

The light inside was very bright, like a fluorescent lamp in a schoolroom, illuminating everything.  The first thing I noticed, oddly, was an open jar of Vaseline on the nightstand.

The second thing was Cousin Buster's chest, pale, smooth, with hard pecs and prominent nipples.

He was sitting up in bed, completely naked, with a magazine open in one hand and his penis in the other.

Fully aroused, straining as his hand stroked the thick shaft, easily a Kielbasa. The head was purple, glistening from the Vaseline.  His testicles bobbed up and down, round like two apples.

Our eyes locked.  He continued to work, his jaw set, beads of sweat on his forehead.

We looked at each other for a long time.  I was afraid to speak or to move.

Then he whispered "Shut the door."

Did he want me on the inside or the outside?

I took a step back, carefully closed the door, and returned to my bed.

Something that I've regretted ever since.

In the morning, neither of us spoke about what happened.

We continued to have brief, cordial chats, but during high school, my visits to Indiana became sporadic.  I was old enough to stay home alone, and often I had other things to do.

Eventually I stopped going to Indiana altogether.

I heard about Cousin Buster from my parents: working at the auto garage, moving into his own place, collecting vintage cars, going hunting and fishing with his buddies, getting girlfriends but never marrying.

He died in 1996, at the age of 38.

I didn't go to his funeral.  I couldn't afford to fly out from San Francisco on short notice, and besides, it was too late -- he was a stranger.

See also: The Naked Ghost at the Crossroads; Lloyd Hooks Up with a Male Witch; and Sausage Sighting of My Cousin Graydon, Almost.


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