Saturday, September 17, 2016

The Winner of the Biggest Penis Contest

Dayton, April 2008

When I was living in Dayton, I went to weekly M4M Parties hosted by a guy named Rode, held in the basement of his small, rather run-down house in the Oregon District near downtown. Around twenty guys, all sizes and shapes.
Activity consisted mostly of making out and oral, with occasionally anal (Rode had lots of picky rules about anal, so most guys just skipped it, or made dates for later).

One of my favorite regulars was Shawn, a recent graduate of the University who worked as a firefighter.  He was in his early 30s, taller than me, with a very handsome face, a smooth nicely musled physique, square hands, and a small uncut penis, about 3" soft.

He was primarily into kissing and going down on guys; he rarely let anyone touch him beneath the belt.

One day he did let me fondle him.  I was surprised to find that he didn't increase in size aroused.

Most penises grow from acorns into mighty oaks, nearly doubling in length (the average is 3.5" soft, 5.5" aroused). I expected Shawn to be at least 5" aroused.  But he grew to only about 3.5", just stiffening a bit.

"That's all that happens," Shawn said.  "Now you know why I don't let guys fondle me or go down on me very often.  They always get that look of disappointment.  I've even had guys change their minds at the end of the date, when we get into the bedroom."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said.  "You're just the right size.  No worries about gagging or scraping it with your teeth."    I got on my knees and started working on him.  He threw his head back and moaned.

After that day, Shawn let me go down on him, but no one else.  He would go down on them, kiss them, fondle them, but his penis was off limits.

Even so, he was the most popular guy at the M4M Parties, always friendly and talkative.  He knew everyone's names, remembered autobiographical details, asked questions about their jobs and relationships.  And he always agreed to go down on anyone who asked, even the ugliest of trolls.

Besides, he often brought cookies or cupcakes to augment the off-brand potato chips and dollar-store Nutty Bars that Rode provided.

There were always special events going at the M4M Parties: Halloween and Christmas themes, Guess the Celebrity Butt, Bring a Straight Friend Night.  One day in April 2008 they had a Biggest and Smallest Penis Contest, with prizes of a giant Jeff Stryker dildo (biggest) and a plaster cast of Michelangelo's David (smallest).

"You should compete," I told Shawn.  "It will help you get over your penis insecurity."

"Or make me feel worse.  I've been self-conscious about my size ever since I came out.  Why would I want to win a contest that emphasizes it?"

"If you compete, I'll go down on you later."

He laughed and squeezed my shoulder.  "Big motivator.  You'd do that anyway."

"Half the guys here would do that, if you weren't so self conscious."

"Ok, ok, if it will get you to shut up and go back to making out."   He shrugged, excused himself, and went to sign up.

After about half an hour, Rode called for the guys competing for the Smallest Penis to come forward.  They stood in a line, and for two minutes anyone they wished could be a "fluffer," going down on them to make them stiff.  Or they could work on themselves.

Shawn didn't go up.

I nudged him.  "Chickened out, huh?  Well, I'll still go down on you."


 When Rode called time, the fluffers broke away, and most of the contestants stood at full attention.  One began to shrink immediately.  Rode pointed at each in turn with a "fairy wand."  We had to clap for the winner.

The winner was a guy in his thirties with black curly hair, a short beard, and a hard hairy chest, who had about 4" aroused.  He made the rounds, waving, smiling, getting his penis fondled by the other guests.

Next Rode called for the guys competing for the Biggest Penis.

Five guys came up.  Their soft sizes ranged from 5" to 7".

"Would you be my fluffer?"" Shawn asked, taking my hand and pulling me up toward the front of the room.

Shawn was competing for the Biggest Penis?

A murmur went around the room.  Why was Shawn competing with guys who were twice as big, maybe three times?  What was he trying to demonstrate?  What was he trying to prove?  Maybe he was a grower -- but who grew that much?

I went down on him and worked as quickly as I could.  Shawn became aroused, bu there wasn't much I could do about his 3.5".

Rode called time.  Some of the bigger guys began to shrink immediately.  One lost his arousal altogether.  But Shawn was sticking straight out in front of him.

Rode pointed at each of the contestants in turn with his fairy wand.  Shawn was at the end of the line, still stiff, an iron rod.

He got thunderous applause.

Maybe because he was stiffer than the big guys.  Maybe because everybody liked him.  Or maybe because he had chutzpah.  But Shawn's 3.5" made him the winner of the Biggest Penis contest.

See also: The Bottom Named Rode; The Smallest Guys on My Sausage List.

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