Drake's Date with Ricky Nelson

 

Hollywood, May 1956

One day in the spring of 1956, Harriet Nelson (who played "herself" on the long-runnng Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet) invited her friend MJ (Mary Jane Croft)  over for coffee, and to talk about a problem.  Her son Ricky, a sophomore at Hollywood High, was soft and sweet and feminine, not outgoing and athletic like his older brother David.  Ozzie  pushed him into playing football, but he hated it.  He preferred tennis, if he was going to play a sport at all.  And music -- he was "musical."

MJ smiled.  "When I was a little girl, musical was what they called...wait...you don't mean Ricky is that way...doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

"Ricky and Claire are just friends. They go shopping and talk about clothes.   I've never seen them kiss, or even hold hands.  And Ricky positively idolizes men.  It's even appeared in the show."  Lately head writers Dick Bensfield and  Perry Grant had been introducing some "Ricky doesn't like girls" plotlines into the scripts.  Harriet didn't know why.  To signal that they knew...to issue a warning.  She sighed.  Studio politics!

"So what if he's...um...musical?" MJ asked.  "You're still his mother, aren't you?"

"Of course!  I have nothing against people like that, I've worked with them since I was a little girl.  And some of my closest friends...." Harriet trailed off: the aggressive, mannish MJ, who played Lucille Ball's perpetual foil/best friend, was almost certainly of the Sapphic persuasion, but she hadn't yet admitted it to anyone.   "But society can be so cruel..."

"Especially the Hollywood gossip mill."

"..and I don't want Ricky being hurt.  Mixed up with the wrong crowd, men who will blackmail him or abuse him.  I think he needs a friend more than anything, to show that he's not alone.  Do you know anyone who...."

"Are you trying to set Ricky up on a date?"  MJ asked, a delighted gleam in her eyes.  "Oh, it will be so sophisticated, like a Cole Porter song, like 'Begin the Beguine.'  I know tons and tons of eligible men who are 'not the marrying kind.' They're mostly older, though. Cesar Romero, John Wayne, Joe Kearns....oh!  Tony Curtis!"

"Tony Curtis?" Harriet repeated.  "I never met him, but I hear that he's the utter living end, as the kids say.  Why, Drake, the boy who rode to school with David and Ricky, used to talk about him all the time.  He was positively in love with him before they had a falling out of some sort...."

She trailed off again.  They looked at each other, understanding...

"Is this Drake boy handsome?"  MJ asked.

When Harriet Nelson called 18-year old Drake, she was so subtle that he had no idea that the evening with Ricky was supposed to be a date.  More like babysitting.  The kid was two years younger than him, scrawny and kind of obnoxious.  But his father insisted -- Ozzie and Harriet was one of the hottest properties in Hollywood, and it wouldn't hurt him to get tight with a big teen star.

Was Ricky even a teenager yet?

If he was going to be stuck in dullsville for an evening, he wouldn't do it alone -- he invited his boyfriend, Bob Ellis,  a 23 year old actor who had starred on Meet Corliss Archer as a "best friend."  Bob was great -- he had a car and his own pad.  Plus a thick beefy chest, nice biceps, and a cock that wouldn't quit.  Not just big, although it was about 7" -- Bob could take three blow jobs, one after the other, and still spring up, ready for more.

The plan was to go to dinner and then bop at the Zanzibar.  Ricky brought Claire along, and Drake and Bob would go "stag."

Everything went fine for awhile. Ricky was becoming rather cute, and he was very knowledgeable about modern music.  Drake could almost see dating him.

Then Bob and Ricky started doing that look that Drake knew well.  Could he be that way?  And hot for his guy?

It got worse:

"Dad said I could sing on the show," Ricky bragged, "Or maybe play the drums, like Krupa."

"You'll never be as hot as Krupa!" Bob said with a sleazy leer.

"Maybe, but which one do you have a chance with?"

"Oh, be yourself!" Claire said, hitting him playfully with her purse.

At the Zanzibar, Drake asked Claire to dance -- good for keeping his pecularity a secret, but a bad strategic move.  When they returned to the table, Ricky and Bob were gone.

"Looks like our fellas have ditched us," Claire said.  "They must out spooning somewhere."

"You mean it's cool with you that Ricky...does that?"

She shrugged.  "I knew about his taste in fellows since we started dating. It doesn't hurt anybody, and I'd rather have him sometimes than not at all."

Doesn't hurt anybody?  Drake was roiling with jealousy.  He went into the bathroom, hoping to catch Bob and the scrawny kid in the act.  Not there.  Then into the parking lot, to Bob's car....

Bob and Ricky were sitting side by side in the back seat.  Ricky had his cock out, and was playing with himself while he went down on Bob!  Drake saw a flash of Bob's shaft, and quite a lot of Ricky's cock -- rather small, cut, and pale in the light of distant street lamps.

Drake rapped loudly on the window.  Ricky sprang up in alarm and covered himself,  then saw Drake and smiled.  He rolled the window down part way.

"Just warming him up for you," he smirked.

Drake never went out with Bob -- or the little weasel -- again.

West Hollywood, August 2017

I heard this story a couple of weeks ago from Drake's ex-boyfriend Zack (I made up the conversation with Harriet).

Why did Drake never talk about it when I knew him in San Francisco in the 1990s?   I think because it puts everyone, and especially Drake, in a rather bad light.  Drake had no cause to expect monogamy from Bob when multiple partners seem to have been the norm in 1950s Hollywood.  He overreacted to the situation and lost a boyfriend and a potential friend.

And there's another problem: Drake going down on Tony Curtis is a sallow 16-year old with no experience in the gay community; Drake going on a date with Ricky Nelson is an experienced 18-year old with a boyfriend.  Six months apart at most. Can they both be true?

An Interview with the Most Attractive Man in the World

Los Angeles, August 2017

When I was in Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago, I reunited with Zack the Photographer. When we met, he was the most stunningly handsome guy in the world, a 19-year old college freshman, dating Drake the Teddy Bear artist.  That was over 20 years ago!  

He invited me to dinner at his glass-and-steel apartment in a great retro building near the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica.

Zack is now 40 years old, working as an IT manager for a company in Marina del Rey.  Bearded, a little rugged, but with the same stunning face, smooth, pale skin, thick chest, prominent nipples, and uncut Mortadella that I remember from his twink days.  I thought it would be interesting to interview the most attractive man in the world at age 40.

Q: Are you still doing photography?

A: Some.  I've had a few things published online, and I enter my work in contests, but lately I don't really have a lot of time.

Q: How did you manage to move to West Hollywood?

After I dropped out of art school, I bopped around, from New York to Philadelphia to Boston, and then back to San Francisco for awhile.  I got a second degree in computer systems, and this job opened up.  But I don't think of myself as living in West Hollywood -- I go out there maybe once a month -- my life is here in Santa Monica.

Q: Is there a lot of gay culture in Santa Monica?

A: I'd call it post-gay.  The younger generation never knew the discrimination we did, so they don't shun straight people.  They hang out in straight bars, and meet guys on dating apps.

Q: Since you turned 40, have you become a twink magnet?

A: Well, I've just been 40 for a few months, but yeah, I've noticed that at the gym.  20 year olds always coming up to me, asking me questions, staring in the steam room.  I could hookup with a dozen guys a day if I wanted, and that doesn't even include phone apps.

Q: How many hookups do you have per week?

One, maybe two if I'm lucky.  I work 10-hour days and go to the gym 6 days a week.  Not a lot of time left for hanging out on Grindr.

Q: Does your gigantic penis get you a lot of attention?

Not really.  I mean, most guys I meet don't ask, and those who do, don't believe me when I tell them.  I've always been what they call a "pretty boy," desired for my looks, not my cock.

Q: Any long-term relationships?

I was with Tim for three years.  That's the longest, and we didn't actually live together.  I don't think I'm the settling-down, domestic type.  I like my privacy.  I want to be able to eat cold pizza in my underwear while watching Nickelodeon.

Q: Any good paranormal stories?

When I was living in New York, we had this party, and a lot of guys came over.  I thought this guy named Benny was a friend of a friend, but turns out no one actually knew him -- he just showed up.  Well, we had the "biggest penis" contest, and he pulled out this monster.  It was like 6 inches soft!  I went up to fondle him, and he just vanished!  He wasn't there anymore.  Six other guys saw it happen.

Q: Any good celebrity dating stories?

A couple involving my ex-boyfriends.  Drake, who you met, hooked up with Tony Curtis, Ricky Nelson, and John Wayne..or maybe John Wayne Jr.

My ex Tim hooked up with a couple of old teen idols, Scott Baio, Ricky Schroder, and..who was it...Mark somebody from Nightmare on Elm Street -- I can email him and ask.  But I don't have any of my own -- I've only lived in L.A. for two years.

Q: Any interesting fetishes?

I tried BDSM -- some of the young guys expect me to tie them up and order them around, you know.  Not my thing.  Oral and anal are plenty for me.

Q: Speaking of oral, can I go down on you?

I was wondering why you didn't ask before. Getting shy in your old age?

See also: Zack Hooks Up with the Prince of Sweden; The Ghost with the Kovbasa+