There's a moderately invasive medical procedure recommended for everyone over 50, to make sure everything in your colon is copacetic. I turned 50 last November, so I'm up.
The preliminaries are rough:
3-4 days before, no whole wheat or fiber, and nothing red.
The day before, clear liquids only. A lot of green jello, lemonade, and beef broth.
The night before, drink 2 liters of an awful-tasting liquid. I cut it with a lot of lemonade mix.
Five hours before, drink 2 more liters.
Nothing to eat or drink two hours before.
After all that, who's in the mood to get cruised? No matter how cute the guy is.
9:30 am.
I'm in the small, cramped waiting room of the endoscopy clinic.
It's packed -- everybody wants to get the procdure done as early in the morning as possible, and you're not allowed to drive afterwards, so most patients have drivers with them.
You can instantly tell the difference: the patients tend to be elderly, dazed from hunger, and apprehensive, while the drivers tend to be young, bored, and knee-deep in their laptops and ipads.
As I'm sitting there, too tired to read the book I brought, an elderly woman and her driver come in. She goes to the reception desk to fill out paperwork, and the driver glances around the room.
College age, very fair skin, dark blond hair, blue eyes, a little swishy. Wearing a pink hoodie. Carrying a laptop.
Our eyes meet.
He stares for a moment, open-mouthed, as if he has come face-to-face with the Man of His Dreams. He smiles, looks away, and then smiles again.
I'm a little annoyed. The boy is extraordinarily cute, but like most gay men over 40, I get cruised by teenagers and twinks all the time. He can take a number. And who cruises in a doctor's office waiting room? Your target is nervous, not feeling well, and probably contagious.
Especially this waiting room, cramped, crowded with elderly people waiting for an invasive medical procedure? When your target is loopy from 30 hours without solid food, tired from no sleep the night before, apprehensive, cranky, and miserable?
Nope. He leaves Mom or Grandma sitting at the receptionist
desk, plops down next to me, and boots up his laptop.
He glances over at me, desperate to say something but too shy.
I decide to take pity on him. "Are you here with your mother?" I ask.
He grins with palpable relief, and begins to talk very quickly and nervously. "I'm driving my Grandma. I'm the grandson without a job, so I was drafted. Not that I'm a bum or anything, I'm in college, but I don't have any classes today. My next class is tomorrow afternoon, Calculus. It's pretty hard. I thought I wanted to be a physics major, but now I think maybe...."
To shut him up, I smile and hold out my hand. "I'm Boomer."
"I'm Kal, with a K, even though it's short for Calvin, with a C." His hand is soft, and I think manicured. "Boomer, wow! I bet there's a story behind that name!"
"There is, but this isn't the right place to tell it."
"Right, right, I gotcha," Kal says, nudging me. Then, expectantly: "Grandma says she wants to go to the Chinese Buffet afterwards and eat from one end to the other."
Ok, this is going to be a pickup, whether I want it to be or not. "I might head over there myself. You know, you can't have anything red for four days, so the General Tso chicken was out."
"Oh, I love General Tso chicken! You know the best place in town to get it..."Before he can tell me where, my name is called. .
"Well, nice chatting with you," I say.
"You, too, Boomer. Maybe I'll see you at the Chinese Buffet later."
11:30 am
I doubt it. My appointment is before Kal's Grandma, and I ask for minimal sedation, so I can stay alert and watch the procedure on the little tv. So my recovery time is short. At 11:30, I'm on my way out, and no doubt Kal is still sitting in the waiting room.
I tell Troy about being cruised by Kal.
"I swear, you can be picked up anywhere!" he exclaims. "I'm surprised that the doctor didn't slip you his phone number! So, do you really want to go to the Chinese Buffet?"
"The nurse said have a light meal -- pancakes, eggs, something like that. But..."
"But...." Troy grins. "We're going to the Chinese Buffet, aren't we?"
I shrug. "Well, it is only three blocks away."It's not very crowded at 11:30 am on a Wednesday. Troy and I pay, fill our plates with chicken and vegetables, and sit at one of the little booths near the entrance.
Sure enough, the moment we sit down, Kal comes in, pays, and makes a beeline to our booth. He squeezes in next to me.
Hi! I thought you'd be here!"
"You talked me into it. Where's Grandma?"
"Oh, she's still at the hospital. They said I could go, and they would call me on my cell phone when she's ready to be picked up." He pauses. "So is this your boyfriend?"
"How did you know?" Troy asks.
Kal laughs. "I didn't, for sure, but I was pretty sure. You could be his son or his boyfriend. I hoped you were his boyfriend, because that would mean Boomer was into younger guys." He squeezes my knee under the table. "Hey, I'm going to go get some food. Stick around, ok?"
Kal has a slim, smooth body, with nicely toned abs and an outtie belly button. Average sized penis, but ready instantly, and able to finish three times in close succession, twice with me going down on him, once with Troy.
He won't let me do interfemoral, or to straddle and enter him, my two favorite positions. He ignores Troy. He goes down on me, but I'm still tired from the procedure, so I don't finish.
On a normal day, this would be an inadequate hookup experience. But remember where I was just a few hours ago.
See also: The Trophy Boy at the Orthopedic Clinic; A Hookup with Two Brothers at the Dentist's Office
Troy was my driver, but he just dropped me off. Then when I was in recovery, they called for him to come pick me up.
ReplyDeleteIs the twink in a photo covering his breasts out of embarrassment?
ReplyDeleteIf he were embarrassed, surely he'd be covering something else
Delete