Freshman year, Augustana College. I declare a major in Religion. Part-time jobs at the Carousel Snack Bar (until my boss reveals his Trouser Snake), then the Student Union Snack Bar and the school library. I also work on the campus radio station, and I become a Jump Quiz Coach, which requires me to look at butts all day.

 Jack Keroac and his Bratwurst.

In November, a trip to Iowa City with my music teacher and his favorite boys

My first hookup: The dwarf at the post office

Indiana for Christmas

The last of my attempts to overcome my Nazarene programming: the joy of saying "cock."

Naked with a male witch.

Spring break in Michigan: my third sexual experience: Is Mary's brother gay?

My brief modeling career.

My younger brother's friend   turns out to be gay.  We date a few times, until he dumps me for a baseball player.

In June, to Colombia to build a church: Marco, the gay cannibal of Colombia

A week in Indiana in July.

At my summer job at the college library, I meet a  Cute Nerd or Creepy Old Guy?


Sophomore year at Augustana.  I declare History and Biology major, and work in the Student Union Snack Bar and the Library.

I spend in the quarter abroad program in Regensburg, Germany; date with Wolfgang the German choirboy.

In December, I return to Rock Island (Bruce doesn't like to be called gay).  I begin dating Fred the Ministerial Student, who teaches me what Greek active means.  Our first date.

Fred shows me his secret bookshelf.  We visit the priest with three boyfriends in Des Moines.

Fred gets a job at a church in a small town near Omaha. I move with him.  He insists that I see a psychologist: "Are you the boy or the girl?", and brings in a guy from the youth group for My first three-way.  I suspect that he is cheating on me with the teenager downstairs

After five weeks, I leave Fred and visit L.A. but miss the gay neighborhoods. On the way, I encounter the Mormon missionary.


My junior year at Augustana.  I continue to work in the Student Union Snack Bar and the Library, and change my major to Modern Languages.  I start cruising at the levee, but I am too nervous to do anything.

Indiana for Thanksgiving

In December, win a dating contest, and Fred and I share his new boyfriend in his parents' house.

My fiction writing class tells me that Literature Must Always Be About Heterosexuals

My professor invites me to his Handcuff Party.

Spring Break in Iceland. Erik and the naked Nordic god.

 A week in Indiana, then back to Rock Island for my brother's wedding.  I get the upstairs room to myself (Sausage sighting: the  Korean muscle bear).

I travel to Des Moines, for my first Gay Rights March, and get a date with Mickey, the Russian Major in the Mesh T-Shirt

Brian tells me what the graffiti meant.


My senior year at Augustana.  I start applying for jobs and thinking about grad school.

Internship at a publishing company in East Moline.

I date Peter, the  Greek Orthodox priest with the pushy mom.

Indiana for Christmas

In West Hollywood, Lane has his weirdest paranormal experience.

Five visits to grad schools. 36 Hours of Cruising at Lambert International Airport.

I am cast in a Christian musical: Spending  Night with The Baptist Boy

I ask my professor if Hemingway was gay

In May, I graduate with a B.A. in English and Modern Languages.

A week in Indiana.

In August, I move to Bloomington, Indiana, into a single dorm room on the 13th floor of Eigenmann Hall, the graduate student dormitory.


First year in the M.A. program in English  I work as a teaching assistant and in the Eigenmann Hall Snack Bar, and take Mandarin Chinese and East Asian Anthropology.  I research family history (Was my Grandfather Gay?)

My first visit to an adult bookstoreI buy a copy of the Gayellow Pages.

Five guys in Eigenmann Hall are gay (sharing the optometrist's boyfriend.

In November, I go to Louisville, KY with Roy (Roy the Farm Boy butches it up), and hook up with a MCC minister and his partner, a security guard)

Home to Rock Island, then to Indiana for Christmas.

My friend Viju takes me  to a gay bar.

Hookups:  My First Creepy Old Guy; the Cellist Who Got Away;  Six naked college guysmy first bisexual; and the Nigerian with the Tattooed Penis

Viju and I move into an upstairs apartment on 2nd and Washington in downtown Bloomington.

Back to Rock Island for two weeks. Viju visits, and we go to my first bathhouse: Man's Country, in Chicago.

Back in Bloomington, 
Joseph and I Get Intimate in a Haunted House

My wealthy distant cousin Justine dies.  I go to the funeral, and meet my gay 4th cousin  Mike: Do Levis Show Baskets Better Than Armani Wool Slacks?


Second year in the M.A. program in Bloomington.  I continue to work in the Eigenmann Snack Bar, and take courses in Tibetan culture and Russian Folklore.

I date Jimmy, the bodybuilder on crutches, through December.  

The Halloween Homophobe

Christmas break in Rock Island.

Hookups: Sunan from Thailand; we try to find out if our professor is gayThe Egyptian professor of political scienceThe bed-switching freshman at the Chocolate Moose

In February, a concert in Lexington, KY with Viju.

In April, travel to Louisville, Kentucky, where I am Dumped by Richie Rich

Dr. Kirtis serves me his bratwurst.

 I receive a M.A. in English

I visit India with Viju, and hook up with Arshad, the Zoroastrian who did it six times a day.

On the way to Texas, cruise in Oxford, Mississippi, and meet the University of Mississippi undergrad named Elmer.


I have a job teaching English at a bonehead college (student gets naked in my class.), living in a two-room second-floor apartment in Hell-fer-Sartain Texas, an hour's drive north of the Montrose.  I take Italian classes (Male Nudity in Italian Class) and apply for doctoral programs in English, Spanish, and Comparativ Literature.

Hookups: Raymond with the Mortadella, and his friend Sayid; the guy who gave me the wrong number; election day hookup with Dan the Chain-Smoker;  Two Brothers and Their DadHank's book collection.

Back in Rock Island for Christmas,  I hook up with my old bully.

Hookups: MMost Embarrassing Hookup; The Professor (Guy Who Got Away #3), The Russian Major, the Footballer; the Most Skittish Guy on Earth; Carl, the Cowboy Cop; and the New Age Advocat.

Sausage sighting of the Redneck Boy at the Trailer Court.

Spring Break in New Orleans: The Footlong of Bourbon Street.

Back to Rock Island for a funeral: were the Old Lady Schoolteachers lesbians?

On the way back to Rock Island, I visit The glory hole at the rest stop in Arkansas and get  A sausage fondle in St. Louis.

Summer 1985

After three weeks in Rock Island, I move to West Hollywood (Part 1 and Part 2)

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