Three Twinks and a Bear on the Same Night

West Hollywood, August 2017

I haven't been back to West Hollywood for four years, and I probably won't be back for awhile, so I want to make the best of it, as many friends, sights, hangouts, and penises as I can cram into six days and seven nights.

I stay with Infinite Chazz and have dinners, go cruising, and otherwise reconnect with Lane, Will, Randall the Muscle Bear, and Zack the Photographer. Plus I meet five new guys.


1. Jerzy

Wednesday: at dinner at Sammy's Thai, I meet  Jerzy,  tall and big-boned, with a rugged face and a severe military haircut, his muscular physique going to fat, a very thick 7".  He's mostly an oral bottom, but open for suggestions.

Jerzy doesn't believe that older guys becom twink magnets, so I take him out to the Rage and the Faultline to look for twinks.  Later we go back to Chazz's apartment to spend the night and "share."

Thursday afternoon: We hit the gym, the Getty Museum, UCLA, and the Santa Monica Pier.

Thursday night: Jerzy wins the twink contest, and gets to go down on me, Chazz, Will, and their partners.

Saturday night: I meet Jerzy, Lane, and Ben in Long Beach.  We visit Randall the Muscle Bear and cruise the cowboy bars.  No hookup.

Jerzy calls on Monday: "Tomorrow is your last night in Los Angeles, and I want to do something special.  How about if you drive down here to Costa Mesa, and we'll have dinner at a place I know on the beach.  You can bring one of your twink friends, if you like, and we'll share."

2. Alex

Friday afternoon: While visiting UCLA with Jerzy, I met Alex, a 21-year old resident advisor on campus to lead new student orientation.  He' taller than me, with straight black hair, a round face, retro horn rimmed glasses, and a tight smooth chest.  Average sized penis, big balls.  Into making out (a lot) and oral (top and bottom).

He gives me an "insider tour"  of Hollywood which mostly involves driving down Sunset Boulevard. We end up in Little Tokyo before returning to his apartment to make out.

Sunday afternoon: We drive to Hacienda Heights to visit the Hsi La temple.  Then we return to his apartment to make out.

He calls on Monday: "Are you doing anything tomorrow?  There's a new exhibit at the Huntington Library that I thought you would like...."

3. Darius

Thursday night: Will and I go to the Eagle in Silverlake, and pick up Darius, who has only been out for two years and wants to try being tied up for the first time.  While Will uses a dildo on him, I enter his mouth from above.

Then Will's partner tops him while I go down on Will.

4. Dylan

We meet at Infinite Chazz's "twink party" on Friday night, and "share," but he doesn't stay over.  He's of medium height, rather pale, with short blond hair, thick eyebrows, a smooth chest, and a shaved crotch (about 5 inches, but perpetually aroused).  An oral and anal top.

Saturday night: We drive into Orange County for dinner with Lane and Ben and a few other guys.  We end up back at Infinite Chazz's house -- just us, no sharing -- and have breakfast and go jogging in the morning.

On Monday I show up at Dylan's job with lunch (Pollo Loco take-out).

"Are you doing anything tomorrow?" he says.  "It's your last night in town, so I'd like to do something special.  I know you like comedy, so I got tickets to the Groundlings..."

5. Michael

Friday night: Infinite Chazz and his partner invite two twinks over to share celebrity hookup stories.  Dylan goes down on me and I get his phone number, but Michael ends up spending the night, with breakfast at Hugo's the next morning.

He's Hispanic or Italian, of medium height, with curly black hair, dark features, a smooth chest, and a a gigantic uncut Kielbasa  Mostly an oral bottom, but he let me go down on him.

Monday night: Michael and I go to Santa Monica for dinner with Zack the Photographer. We share (oral only) and spend the night.

In the morning, we have breakfast before Michael and Zack have to go to work.

"Tonight is your last night in Los Angeles," he says.  "I hope you don't think this is corny, but I'd like to spend it cuddling on the couch, watching Netflix and eating pizza.  And going down on you about six times, of course."

Four guys, each wanting to spend a "special night."  Which did I choose?

Answer after the break

How Not to be Creepy

I haven't been on Grindr for a few months -- some medical and psychological problems made me uninterested in hookups. But last week, I was feeling better, so I went on Grindr and started cruising.

Nothing.  Crickets.  Robots.

I said hello to a guy who immediately responded "No."

"No what?" I returned. "How do you know what I want?"

"Your creepy profile photo, for one."

Creepy photo?  It's just a selfie of me at the gym, smiling, with my impressive chest on display!







A few days later, I was in Indianapolis for the holidays, and I stopped into the Works, the sex club.   Little success. I managed to go down on a couple of the old guy regulars, but no one hot.

Finally an Asian twink with an enormous cock approached me in the video room, and I went down on him for a few minutes before he beat off to finish.  Literally -- he was getting ready to leave!  As I walked with him toward the lockers, he said "I was kind of leery of you at first."

"Huh?"

"Well, you're hot, but you come off as kind of creepy."

Two "creepy" comments in one week!  And who knows how many other guys failed to respond on Grindr, at the gym, or at the sex club due to my suddenly becoming "creepy"?.

Time to do some research.  What does "creepy" mean, anyhow?  How do you convey it?  How do you overcome it?

Psychologists have determined that the feeling of "creepy" results from uncertainty about a guy's intentions.  If you think he is actually a threat, you will experience anger or fear, and prepare for "fight or flight."  If you aren't sure, you will experience a sort of discomfort, a dread, that will make you want to leave the situation.

Extensive studies have determined what is most likely to be perceived as creepy in a guy (it's almost always men).

1. Any unexpected or unusual appearance or behavior can produce this "creepy" feeling.  Guys often come off as "creepy" with poor grooming, unkept hair, ill-fitting or outdated costumes.  This guy, for instance, has inappropriately bushy hair and a moustache that is no longer in style.

2. You can come off as creepy by breaking very minor rules of personal interaction: keeping eye contact for too long, standing too close, choosing awkward topics of conversation.

Paradoxically, asking questions about someone, the way we indicate interest, comes off as creepy: "Why does he want to know so much about me?  What is his intention?"

3. I guess you're supposed to go through life with your eyes down, because staring or just looking at someone is creepy.  "Why is he looking at me?  What does he want?"  Even in a gay venue, where guys are hoping to hook up with you, you're not supposed to look.

If a guy catches you looking, the "how to not be creepy" articles suggest that you approach and mention something other than his attractiveness.  "Hi, I was just noticing your t-shirt.  Are you a fan of that sports team?"

Even hobbies that involve looking, like photography and bird watching, are creepy.




4. Paradoxically, a smile, the usual way we attempt to convey friendliness, most often comes across as "creepy."  "He's smiling at me -- he wants something.  What?"

Smiles can go wrong in many ways: too broad, crooked, with the head tilted forward or backward.

5. Our eyes widen automatically when we see something pleasant, so we can see it better.  But widened or otherwise bulging eyes are creepy.  "Why is he so interested?  What is his intention?"

There's not much you can do about this one, except watch your head: a head tilted back makes the eyes look bigger.  And creepier.


















6. "Creepy" is usually connected to the phrase "creepy old guy" because age is the most common signal of creepiness.  When someone who is "too old" looks at, smiles at, or approaches you, you experience that dread: "An old guy!  What does he want with me?"

Even if you find him attractive!

This may have to do with our paradoxical attitude toward age.  Older people are powerful and command our respect, but they're also obsolete and laughably old-fashioned. We don't know how to respond.


The "how not to be creepy" articles suggest that you are automatically creepy to people younger than "half your age plus 7."

So if you are 60, anyone under 37.  If you are 40, anyone under 27.

Pity the poor twinks, attracted to older guys but constantly being creeped out when older guys approach them.

And those of us on the plus side of 40, twink magnets when they approach us, "creepy old guys" when we approach them!  It makes Saturday night at the bar a minefield.

So if you're out jogging and you see this guy washing his car, don't look, don't smile, don't ask him any questions.  Just stop, pull out your cell phone, and wait for him to approach you.

How to Tie Up Twinks

I have come to the conclusion that almost all guys under age 30 are into bondage.  Maybe not in gay neighborhoods, where S&M masters are readily available, but out here on the Plains, hinting that you might like to tie them up is like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey: they'll follow you anywhere.

Of course, they're nervous.  They've never given up control before.  But they're intrigued -- and enthusiastic.  The sooner you can set up a scene, the better.

Even if you're not into bondage and domination play, a tied up twink is pleasant for "vanilla sex," oral, anal, and interfemoral.

There are 8 steps to a successful BDSM scene.

1. Prepare the Bottom

I prefer my bottoms, also called "subs" or "boys," to be young and thin, but any age and size is fine.

Never suggest a scene for a first date or hookup.


All BDSM play involves dominance and force, so it's important to have a verbal contract in advance.  Agree on which acts will or might occur.  Arrange for a safe word for him to use if he wants an activity to stop.

No, there is no one who is "into everything." He has to specify what he definitely wants to happen, what he is ok with, and what he definitely doesn't want to happen.




2. Set Up the Space

If you don't have a separate room set up as a  dungeon, any room will work.  I use my regular bedroom, but remove the usual paraphernalia, put dark drapes on the windows, black sheets on the bed, and my equipment laid out on the dresser.  Some sinister-looking artwork, gargoyles and such.

Loud music is essential to drown out the other sounds. A classical symphony sounds majestic, or you can go with heavy metal:  I like Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and Marilyn Manson,

3. Shift from Regular Time to the Scene

After the preliminaries -- the small talk, the drinks, the bathroom break, some kissing and fondling -- the scene begins.

I always tell the bottom that the scene begins when I put on my leather vest, and ends when I take it off.  During that period, neither of us have names.  I will not speak to him except to issue commands, and he is not permitted to say anything except his safe word, "Yes, sir," and "No, sir,"

I then go into the other room, take off my shirt, put on my leather vest, and return.  I order the bottom to strip, kneel, unzip me, and go down on me with his hands behind his back.

Then we're ready for the scene to begin.

4. Immobilization

The bottom must be immobilized, hands over head, hands behind back, or spreadeagle.

Aesthetically, I prefer hands behind back, but spreadeagle, face up, gives you more of the body to work on without shifting positions.

You will be using rope -- handcuffs are a pain --, so practice in advance.  Nothing ruins the scene more than fumbling around.

I prefer that the bottom be gagged and blindfolded also.

Ordinary clothesline works well enough for the arms and legs, but for the cock and balls, you'll need thin rawhide strips.  Shoelaces can substitute in a pinch.

More after the break.