Friday, April 28, 2017

A Day of Beefcake, Bulges, and Sausage Sightings on the Plains

The Plains

Springtime on the Plains is a paradise of beefcake, brawn, cruising, and sausage sightings, but yesterday was especially busy.  Muscles and bulges everywhere I looked.

1. Student Union.  I arrive on campus and walk through the Student Union on the way to my office.  There are tables full of students in muscle shirts.  One is a bodybuilder, displaying a smooth, hard chest and thick biceps as he bends over a chemistry textbook.

2.  Intro Class. 100 students in stadium seats.  I wander among them as I lecture.  A bird's eye view of tight t-shirts and short pants.

3. Bathroom Break. I always stop at the bathroom between classes, both to go and to check my grooming. A young professor with an uncut Kielbasa+ is just finishing up.

4. Prospective Students on Tour.  A group of fifteen boys in muscle shirts, plus a few girls, being led across the quad.  They gaze, gawk, ask questions. A Hispanic guy with brown skin and long, thick muscles makes eye contact and smiles.

5. Lunch at Chipotle.  The guy making my chicken and black bean burrito has his shirt unbuttoned three buttons.  From my angle, I can look right down it to see the outline of his hard, slightly hairy chest.

6. Afternoon Seminar.  Seven women and three men.  The men sit together in the front row -- safety in numbers, I guess.  One always has his legs spread as far as they will go, like he's cruising in a bar.  I'm not allowed to ask out students in my class, but after final grades are posted...

7. Campus Bookstore.  An older guy, professor or nontraditional student, husky, Middle Eastern, is leafing through one of the bargain books.  Definite bulge.

8. Volleyball.  They're playing volleyball on the grass outside the Fine Arts Building.  Eight guys, all of them shirtless.  I can't stand it!

9. Gym.  It's warm enough to jog outside, but I run around the indoor track anyway, to get a view of the three (three!) shirts vs. skins basketball games being played on the floor below.

10. Locker Room.  The physics professor with the husky, hairy body, the six-pack abs, and the enormous Mortadella on his way to the shower as I come in.  He doesn't bother with a towel.

11. Student Union Snack Bar for my post-gym apple and power bar.  There's a cute, nerdish guy named Dustin at the cash register who always cruises me.  Today he makes sure that our hands "accidentally" touch as

12. Bathroom Again.  This time on the second floor of the Student Union, down the hall from the student organizations.  A row of urinals with no barriers between.  There's already someone standing at a urinal, talking on his cell phone and playing with himself.  Average size, semi-aroused.  He sees me come in, plays with himself for a few more strokes, then zips up.

13. Office Hours.  One of the other professors in my department is talking to a gigantic bodybuilder in a black muscle shirt.  "I'd like you to meet my husband," she says.

14. The Artist.  I walk through the Fine Arts Building on the way to the parking lot.  An art student passes me, carrying an abstract sculpture.  He's short, sandy-haired, smiling, wearing green shorts guessed it.  Yet another enormous bulge.

"Nice," I tell him.  "A real work of art."

15. The House Across the Street.  A few yards from where my car is parked: four guys sitting on the front steps.  One is playing a guitar.  They're all shirtless.

It's been like ten hours in a bath house.  And I still have dinner and trivia night at the gay-friendly coffee house to go.

Who needs West Hollywood?

See also: Searching for Beefcake on the Plains; Random Summer Beefcake on the Plains

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