Thursday, December 1, 2016
First Day of Class Beefcake and Bulges
I love the first day of class. The campus has been mostly deserted all summer, but today it springs to life with thousands of new students and faculty members, dozens of new opportunities.
8:30 am. Meeting with my new teaching assistant, a tall, buffed former football player who just began grad school.
I can't wait to start sending him on errands.
I get five smiles and three cruisy eye-crotch-eye looks.
12:30. Lunch. I eat lunch in my office to avoid the crowds at the Student Union. Five students are sitting on the couches in the main office, waiting to talk to faculty members, in front of a plate of brownies left over from a meeting last Thursday. I walk over and ask "Do you think these brownies are still good after five days?"
A slim hipster says "Let's find out." He picks one up and tries to feed it to the cute boy sitting next to him on the couch.
"I'm not eating that!" the cute boy exclaims.
"Why not? You've had worse things in your mouth." He grins at me.
3:30 pm. My other advanced class. There he is again! He's enrolled in both.
I also see the Hispanic bodybuilder who was in my intro class twice (he failed the first time).
I can't wait to start calling on them.
Two guys who were in my intro class earlier today are using the shoulder press, at 40 pounds. I lift four times as much. They stare.
Another cute guy is using the incline press, at 60! I move it down to 180.
"How can you lift so much?" he asks.
"I used to work for a bodybuilding magazine," I tell him.
"That must have been exciting. Did you meet anybody famous?"
We make a coffee date for tomorrow.
6:30 pm. The locker room is packed! Stripping down next to me is a tall, thin guy. He turns his back to change underwear, but I still get a glimpse of an enormous package. Then a third guy returns from the shower and needs to get to the locker between us. We step out of the way as he removes his towel, his gigantic penis in full view, and fumbles with his lock.
Maybe he was in my class earlier today.
Sure enough, there are dozens of new profiles within a mile radius. I change my profile picture from chest to face, but still, I get a barrage of "Hi, Daddy!" and "Come over and do me!"
This will be a fun semester.
See also: Wagner's Top 10 Turn-Ons; Classroom Bulges