Wednesday, June 14, 2017
David Has Explicit Sex with 5,000 Guys (with 8 Nude Photos)
David is the only guy I know who still uses the telephone instead of texting -- a good way to put you on the spot!
"I've got a couple of weeks off in June," he said. "I'd like to fly out and visit you on the Plains."
Gulp! David from San Francisco, on the Plains? I had enough trouble trying to entertain Yuri, when he visited a couple of years ago! And David has a requirement that Yuri doesn't....
"Sure, that would be great," I said, trying not to hesitate. "It's been three years since we saw each other last, and I think it's your turn to visit me. Except..."
Except cruising opportunities here on the Plains are limited, especially during the summer, when all of the students have gone home. Especially when you're 64 years old. I might not be able to provide enough hookups to meet your quota!
And, in gay communities, it's polite for you to provide the sexual entertainment for your guests.
"Except that I'm scheduled to be visiting my family in Indianapolis the weekend of June 6th," I explain. "Maybe you could fly in there. Believe me, there are a lot more fun things to do [more places to cruise] in Indianapolis than in a small town on the Plains!"
"Sure, I'd be happy to meet your family. And cruise Hoosier farmboys."
I arrive in Indianapolis at noon, visit my mother, and then drive to the airport to pick up David at 3:30. He's 64 years old, a bald, buffed Daddy with craggy features, a moustache, a tight hairy chest, thick biceps, and extra-thick beneath the belt gifts. Since I saw him last, he got a pair of nipple rings, which, he said, played havoc with the metal detector at airport security.
We have dinner with Tyler, my ex-boyfriend Fred's 34-year old "son," who arranges a "West Hollywood Party" for us with about the same guests that were at his New Year's Eve Party: his ex-boyfriends, Jesse and Sandoval (both bears in their 40s), and Mike, the 23-year old waiter in the crazy retro restaurant, plus Mike's boyfriend, a soft, passive, dark-skinned student from Bangladesh (who happens to have 6" soft).
David doesn't have a type: young or old, fat or thin, if you're over 18 and have a penis, he's interested. Everyone at the party eventually goes down on him (and I get to go down on everyone at the party), but he doesn't have an orgasm until everyone else leaves, and Tyler and I are double-teaming him (both working on his penis at once).
Quota met. But that's about everyone I know in Indianapolis.
David and I have brunch with Tyler. Then we visit the gym, the Eiteljorg Museum of Indian Arts, the Indiana State Historical Museum, and the zoo. We have dinner with my sister and her husband, and then cruise the Waterworks.
It's like an ordinary bathhouse, but with no orgy room. You have to do everything in the steam room or the shower. David goes down on a bald bear in his 30s in the shower, while I make the rounds and go down on couple of collegiate twinks.
At 11:00 pm we're finished. Tyler works until 2:00. We let ourselves into his apartment and take the guest room.
I wake up to the sight of Tyler going down on David. I join in by going down on Tyler. Then we leave him to sleep a few more hours. We drive down to Bloomington, to see my old hangouts at Indiana University.
It's been over 30 years since I was a student, but the campus hasn't changed much. We visit Eigenmann Hall, where I met my first open gay men; Ballantine Hall, where Viju and I speculated on whether our professor was gay; the Memorial Union; the Rare Books Library; Wylie House. Then we walk through downtown and have dinner at the Tibetan restaurant.
The Back Door, Bloomington's new "queer bar," is hosting the Limestone Comedy Festival.
Comedy clubs aren't the best place to cruise, but I manage to attracted Jake, a pre-pharmacy student: early 20s, tall, slim, with short reddish-brown hair, thin lips, smooth chest, and an average size penis, mostly a bottom. We return to his apartment, where he goes down on David while I'm going down on him. Then David tops him.
But he doesn't finish; after a few minutes he rolls over and goes to sleep, leaving me to get into the interfemoral position with Jake. I guess he has a type after all, and Jake isn't it.
I go down on Jake while David watches. Then we have breakfast and return to Indianapolis to work out. After visiting my mother, it's time for the annual family barbecue at my nephew's house.
Joseph didn't realize that David would be coming, and he has set me up on a date for Saturday night! Ravi, a very muscular grad student in Central Asian Languages.
"That's ok," David says. "Just drop me off at Tyler's apartment. I've got some books to read, and I'm binge watching Orange is the New Black on Netflix."
"On Saturday night? Are you sure you don't want to come out with us?"
"Absolutely! You have fun. Anyway, Tyler will be home at midnight to keep my bed warm."
But...your goal of being with a new guy every day?
I spend the date worrying about whether David is sick, or angry with me. After dinner and cruising, I bring Ravi home to "share" -- rather unusual on a first date, but I don't want things to be weird with David. But he's already asleep in Tyler's arms, so we take the guest room.
Quota not met.
Tyler joins us for sharing in the morning; David does not. But he seems fine for church, Sunday dinner at my mother's house, and the Brown County Antique Mall with my sister and brother-in law.
Afterwards we have dinner with Tyler and visit the Gay Men's Club Indianapolis, a weekly sex party. I go down on a cute twink named Len, and a couple of other guys. David just watches!
Then we return to Tyler's apartment and fall asleep in his bed. Tyler and I make out for awhile and then do interfemoral, but David just falls asleep.
Quota not met!
I'm running out of cruise ideas. Maybe David could work some of his magic: four years ago, when he visited me in Philadelphia, he hooked up with 15 guys in 24 hours!
We visit Splash Mountain to look at the beefcake, but pick no one up. We have dinner with my nephew and his wife, and then cruise at the Metro, the gay bar in downtown Indianapolis. But David wants to leave at 9:00, before it gets crowded. Tyler gets home from work at midnight and joins us in the guest room, but David is already asleep.
Quota not met.
"It's our last night day in Indianapolis," I say. "We should do something fun. How about inviting a guy from Grindr over for a four-way?"
"Let's have dinner and then stay in for the evening," David says. "I have an early flight."
Ok, I can't restrain myself anymore. "What about your quota? A new guy every day, 365 per year, making up for lost time? Goal of 5,000 hookups?"
He smiles. "Oh, that. Well, you see, Boomer, as you get older, sex just becomes less important. It's still enjoyable, but it's not always necessary. Sometimes I just want to watch, or cuddle, and sometimes I'm not in the mood at all. I'd rather go to bed with a good book." He puts his arm around me. "Anyway, I came here to see you, not get laid."
We wake up at 4:00 to get David to the airport by 7:00. Tyler got home at 2:00 am, so we're planning to let him sleep. But as we pass his room, he calls, "Hey, I brought you a going away present."
He turns on the light. There's a slim guy lying in bed next to him: short hair, beard, very hairy chest, what they call an "otter." He smiles. "Which of you is David?"
See also: My New Year's Eve Party with the Small-Town Track Star; David Hooks Up with 15 Guys in 24 Hours; Joseph Sets Me Up on a Date