Micro-Identities: More than Just LGBTQAAII

So, are you bringing anybody to the party?

"Actually, I'm asexual.  An estimated 2% of the population is asexual.  They aren't interested in sex, although they may agree to sex to please a partner.   Another 2-3% is aromantic, not interested in romantic partnerships.  They may be interested in sexual activity, or not.

I didn't ask if you wanted to have sex with them.  I just asked if....

In fact, there is a whole spectrum of desire, behavior, and identity where you can place yourself.

Desire (for sexual activity):

Asexual: No sexual attraction to another person, although they have a libido (sexual interest) and enjoy sex with other people.  Or not, but willing to do it as a favor for a friend or partner.    Or they may be actiely repulsed by the idea of sex.

Wait -- you can have sexual interest, but not be attracted to someone.  Why do you want to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to?

For the release, for stimulation, for recreation.  Anyway, demisexual: No sexual attraction to another person until they develop a close emotional bond (i.e., never on the first date).  Or no libido unless they are with someone with a close emotional bond.

Gray-asexual: Occasional sexual attraction or desire for sexual activity with another person.

Allosexual: Regular sexual attraction and/or desire for sexual activity with another person.

So you can be allosexual for sexual attraction but demi-ace for sexual activity...


We make the same spectrum with romance(the desire for a strong emotional bond with someone).

Aromantic:  No romantic interest, regardless of the desire for sex or sexual attraction with anothe person.

I know lots of guys like that....

Demiromantic:  No romantic interest until you've had sex.

Gray-aromantic: Only occasional romantic interest.

Romantic: Romantic interest.

Can you have a romantic partner if you're aromantic?

Sure, but they would be more like a sex partner who you happen to live with.  For both sexual and romantic interest, you can be:

Gay/lesbian:  Same sex only

Heterosexual: Opposite sex only

Bisexual: Both sexes.

Pansexual: Open to both sexes as well as non-binary persons.

What if you want sex with men but romance with women, or romance with men but sex with women?  Are you bisexual?

Probably you're gay allosexual aromantic and heterosexual asexual romantic.

So you can bring an aromantic allosexual partner, or a romantic asexual buddy, or your brother, or your nonbinary sibling. I don't care.

Now let's discuss your gender identity.

Cisgender male/female:Gender identity matches the male/female binary.

Transgender: Gender identity matches the male/female binary, but is different from birth sex.

Nonbinary: Gender identity does not match the male/female binary, or changes from day to day.

Whatever.  Nobody is taking their clothes off, so nobody will care what you have down there.

That's another identity altogether, your sex.  You can be male, female, or intersexed.

I'll bet even you can't keep all of these identities straight, so to speak.  Check this out: Rodney is a gay gray-asexual romantic pansexual.  Who is he dating and having sex with?

He is into romantic relationships with anyone,but is only interested in sex occasionally,and always with men.

Ok. Boris is a gay romantic asexual.  Can he be transgender too?

Sure, a gay romantic asexual transman.  

Dude, I just want to know if you're bringing a guest to the party.