Saturday, September 10, 2016
Lane Has a Three-Way with His Brother
My partner Lane turns 38 today and Randall, the Muscle Bear with the Pierced Penis, is throwing him a dinner party. We have the usual discussions of dates from hell, celebrity hookups, and enormous penises, and somehow get around to incest stories.
Will the Bondage Boy tells about hooking up with his cousin when they were kids.
I tell about the brothers who both flirted with me in Houston, but changed it into a three-way encounter.
Then Lane says "I'll bet none of you but Boomer knows this, but I have a brother."
I didn't know! Lane always said he was an only child. When Rosa died, he was the only beneficiary in her will, other than Temple Beth El and the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles.
"Is he homophobic, and estranged?" Randall asked.
"Not at all. In fact, we made out. And not when we were kids. We were both full-grown adults."
West Hollywood, September 1984
Sometimes funerals are fun, and not in a Goth way. If the person was elderly, or died after a long illness, then the funeral is not sad, it's a celebration of their life. You get to meet their relatives and old friends, and learn things about them that you never knew.
Lane grew up with his parents' funny, sad, and romantic stories, so he thought he knew all there was to know about his father:
Aaron was born into a Lithuanian Jewish family in Boyle Heights, California on March 4th, 1923. After high school he joined the army, and fought in Italy during World War II. He was shot in the leg and sent home, where he went to work in his parents' hardware store. In 1953 he married Rosa, a Holocaust survivor from the Netherlands.
He owned a clothing store and two apartment buildings in West Hollywood, attended Temple Beth El, visited Israel twice, voted Democrat in every election, and put way too much salt on his food.
But there was one thing Lane didn't know.
Three days after Aaron died, Lane and his boyfriend were alone in the house -- Rosa was out with her cousin and niece -- when there was a knock on the door.
It was like looking in a mirror. The guy standing there with a suitcase in hand was the same height as Lane, with the same physique, same face, even the same haircut. Except he was a little older.
He opened the door slowly, in shock.
"You must be Lane!" his doppelganger said, holding out his hand. "I'm your half-brother Leo."
Lane was speechless.
"I take it Dad never told you about me?"
They sat on the couch, Lane so shaky that Morgan had to help him down. "You guys look so much alike, it's freaky!" he exclaimed.
Leo smiled and held out his hand. "Sorry, we were never introduced...."
You never came out to strangers in 1984, but Lane could hardly introduce Morgan as a cousin from Poland: he was black, buffed, with a smooth hard chest and an uncut Mortadella++.
"This is my boyfriend and roommate Morgan."
"Oh...um..." Leo stammered, heavily embarrassed, as heterosexuals in the Reagan Era usually were when forced to acknowledge the existence of gay people. - but at least he wasn't shouting. "I didn't expect you to be...of course, I'm perfectly fine with it. I have friends back in Chicago who are...do you...I mean, are you both...."
"We don't have AIDS," Lane said, annoyed. "Now let's hear about my Dad's double life."
When Aaron left the army in 1944, he moved to Long Island, lived with his uncle, and took a job in a men's clothing store. In 1945, he married Marie, a Catholic girl who worked at a nearby diner. They had a son named Leo. After a couple of years, they divorced, and Aaron returned to Los Angeles. .
"He wrote or telephoned me a lot," Leo continued, "And twice a year, on my birthday and in the spring, he flew out and spent a week with me. When I was a kid, I thought everybody had two fathers, one who lived with him, and one who visited."
"That would explain the business trips," Lane said. "But why didn't Dad tell me? He obviously told you."
Later Rosa said: "We wanted to tell you, but it was never the right time."
"Yes, we knew all about you. We even saw pictures. He didn't mention that you were...you know, but I imagine that he was tolerant and all."
"He was sort of homophobic, actually," Lane said. "He never wanted to meet Morgan, and wouldn't let us live in one of his buildings."
"That's odd, L.A. is so liberal. Back in Chicago, you don't talk about that sort of thing openly." He paused. "Hey, do you think while I'm visiting, you and Morgan could show me...you know, the gay life of L.A.? I'd love to tell my friends back home about it."
"I'm sitting shiva -- it's seven days of mourning after a loved one died. But maybe Morgan would bring you."
Lane was awakened shortly after midnight by the sound of Morgan and another guy coming into the bedroom, taking off their clothes, and climbing into bed with him. Still half asleep, he forgot all about Leo and figured Morgan had brought home a trick to "share." He started kissing and fondling the guy while Morgan went down on him, feeling his chest, fondling his testicles.
Then the guy pulled his face away, and Lane got a good look. It was Leo!
"Hey, hey, wait..." Lane murmured. "We're brothers. And you have a wife and kids...."
"They're in Chicago, and I'm here," Leo said. "I can't be this free at home. Only when I'm traveling, and too drunk to care!"
"And I can't pass up the chance to be with two Lanes!" Morgan exclaimed. "A Lane sandwich! You're even the same size beneath the belt!"
"Well, count me out. I'm still sitting shiva, and besides -- we're brothers!"
Lane watched while Morgan went down on Leo, and then topped him. He allowed himself to be pulled into a three-way cuddle for sleeping.
Sometime during the night, Leo vanished, leaving a note that said "Thanks! Keep in touch!"
West Hollywood, September 1993
"But I never saw or heard from Leo again," Lane said. "And Morgan didn't last much longer, either. He was hot, but he would grab anything that moved, you know. Like my own brother."
"Half brother," Randall reminded him. "The fantasy of half the guys in West Hollywood."
"Not me," Lane says. "I guess I'm old fashioned. I like to sleep with guys who don't share all of my DNA."
See also: Alan Hooks Up with a Father and Son; 21 Surprising Facts about Lane.; and My Date with Two Brothers and their Dad