Sunday, April 2, 2017

How Much Does Astrology Know About Your Sex Life?

I'm a big fan of the paranormal, but not astrology.  It's too complicated: I am a Scorpio with Virgo in my Second House (21.02), the Moon in Jupiter, Mercury in Sagittarius, the Sextile Sun in Jupiter, and Mars in opposition (4.43-73).


When I started going to gay bars in 1983, the astrology craze of the 1970s was winding down, but you still occasionally were asked "What's your sign?"

It was a good conversation starter.  And being a Scorpio didn't hurt my cruising success: it's the most sexual of the signs of the zodiac: passionate, energetic, intellectual, dark, mysterious, intense, and insatiable.

Scorpio is supposedly most compatible with Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn, Libra, and Pisces, and not compatible with Taurus, Leo, Sagittarius, and Aquarius. Let's see if it works,  Here is a boyfriend or lover from each of the sun signs:


Aquarius (January 21 - February 19): The water-bearer, Ganymede, cupbearer and boy toy for the gods.  Friendly, loyal, inventive, scatterbrained.    

Dustin, my teenage boyfriend on the Plains, who I hooked up with at his father's party. It was intense but rather volatile.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21); the bull.  Patient, reliable, warmhearted, tends to be jealous and possessive. Hung like a bull.  

Barry the Colonial Williamsburg Boy.  Not particularly hung.  We hooked up once, and became friends. He was a little too weird for me, with his background in a conservative Catholic family in Colonial Williamsburg and years spent as a hustler.

Leo (July 23 - August 21): the lion.  Generous, broad-minded, pompous, tends to be bossy.

Raul, the Hispanic chef I dated in West Hollywood.  We argued, broke up, got back together several times. He wasn't pompous, but he was inclined to be bossy.

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22): The archer, especially Chiron the Centaur.  Optimistic, good-humored, intellectual, irresponsible, reckless.

Troy, my boyfriend in Upstate New York.  We were together for about six years, but we did argue a bit.


Pisces (February 20 - March 20):  The fish.  Compassionate, kind, idealistic, weak-willed.

Eli from Amsterdam, who I've been friends with ever since his brother brought me home as a "birthday present" from the Horseman's Club.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22): the crab.  Emotional, intuitive, cautious, moody.

My Celebrity Boyfriend, from West Hollywood.  We only dated for about three months.  He was rather moody.  See: Sharing My Celebrity Boyfriend, the Director, and the Cute Young Thing.

Virgo (August 22 - September 23): the virgin.  Modest, shy, easy-going, fussy, a perfectionist.

Ryan H, the small-town track star that I met on the way back from Indianapolis last summer.  That didn't work out at all (see My New Year's Eve Sex Party with the College Track Star).

More after the break.

Libra (September 24 - October 23): the scales.  Romantic, charming, sociable, indecisive, flirtateous.

 I can't decide between Lane, my boyfriend in West Hollywood for ten years, Wade the Beach Boy, who I dated in Florida, or Chad, the Satyr's Houseboy, from Upstate New York.

That's a lot of compatibility.


Aries (March 21 - April 20), the ram. Especially the ram who guarded the Golden Fleece.  Adventurous, enthusiastic, confident, impulsive, stubborn, tends to be a bit of a daredevil.

 Fred my first boyfriend.  It lasted only six months, but we were friends for 30 years afterwards (he wasn't hung quite this much).

Gemini (May22  - June 21): The twins Castor and Pollux.   Adaptable, versatile, quick-witted, tends toward being superficial.

Jimmy the Boy Toy on the Plains, who I stole from my two older Platonic friends.

Scorpio (October - November): the scorpion.  Forceful, passionate, mysterious, secretive.

 Kevin the Vampire, a weird paranormal dating experience in San Francisco.

Zack (not the photographer, the assistant manager at the grocery store.  On our first date, we never made it out of the bedroom long enough to have dinner).

Capricorn (December 23 - January 20): the goat.  Ambitious, disciplined, humorous.

 I can't think of any boyfriend, but two of my best friends, David and Yuri, are both Capricorns.

That's a lot of compatibility.

See also: The Football Player Who Got Unstuck in Time.; Anal and Astrology in Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas

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