Monday, July 17, 2017
The Most Disgusting Hookup of All Time
When I go home to Rock Island, I usually do quite well with hookups. Being the new guy in town, I get approached a lot, I have the "I grew up here!" conversation starter, and in the absence of gay bars there's a lot of old-fashioned cruising going on. But earlier this week, when we stopped in Rock Island on the way to New York, I had the MOST DISGUSTING HOOKUP OF ALL TIME.
I blame Bob, the 19 year old economics major I met at the dentist's office a few weeks ago. He was with only one guy before me, but quickly warmed up to the idea of sharing and hooking up.
He had never heard of gay dating apps, and was eager to try out Grindr, so I promised that on our night in Rock Island, he could arrange some hookups for us.
Then I went to the gym while Bob got to work on Grindr, with the profile name "visiting" and nude pictures of us both to share. When I returned, he had the hookups arranged.
"I invited two, in case one doesn't show up, like you taught me," he said. "One for you, a teenager."
I'm actually more attracted to guys in their 30s. I just go with the twinks and Cute Young Things because they approach me all the time, and there aren't a lot of "regular aged" guys on the Plains. But I wasn't going to tell that to Bob the 19-year old, especially when he was so proud of himself.
"And one for me," he added. "Old, muscular, hairy chest, big cock."
Sounded like Bob's would be more my style.
Little did I know.
Chris the Teenager (yes, we carded him) arrived ten minutes late.
Bob got a few of my tastes wrong:
I like them short. He was very tall, like 6'5".
I like them muscular or husky, not chubby. Chris had a ton of soft belly fat, and those big womanly breasts that I find a turn-off.
I like them well-hung. He had maybe 4.5".
But I shouldn't complain -- Bob did his best.
Chris wasn't bad at kissing, and he let me go down on him while he was going down on Bob. But then he lay on the bed with his butt in the air, whispering "Do me, Daddy."
"Let me try!" Bob. "I've never topped anyone before."
Bob has an uncut Bratwurst, about 7", which should be big enough to pass through the fat of Chris's butt cheeks. But he couldn't find the hole! Finally he rubbed off against Chris, a sort of reverse interfemoral, while Chris was going down on me.
Then Chris said he had to go home, since his parents didn't realize that he had borrowed their car.
Not a very satisfying hookup, but I told myself, "Wait for Bob's guy. In his 40s, muscular, big cock. A bodybuilding bear!"
10:00 Sid the Illustrated Man
The guy who showed up was in his 60s, with a long, ugly face and an obvious toupee. He introduced himself and immediately lay down next to Bob, who was still naked, ran his finger over his cock, and put it in his mouth!
"I think it's lube," Bob said. "I tried anal on a guy before."
"Well, it's still delicious!"
Ok, major turn-off. No way I was kissing this guy now!
But he was Bob's hookup, so I had to be polite. I helped him undress.
Very thin, smooth, hairless body covered with tattoos, including spiderwebs, Madonnas, a dagger, a gay pride flag, a skull -- I lost count. Disgusting.
But a cock is a cock.
I started going down on his 6" cut cock, while he lay there, squeezing his nipples, his tongue out like a puppy dog. Disgusting.
Beyond disgusting -- nauseating!
Bob fondled his butt. Was he thinking of doing anal again?
I slapped Sid's butt, and he moaned "That feels good!"
Soon Bob and I were slapping him on the legs, arms, abs, chest, and cock, everywhere but his balls (which he said were sensitive), while he beat off, moaning and squeezing his own nipple and sticking his tongue out like a puppy dog.
Soon he spurted -- and, of course, ate it!
We got him dressed and out of there fast.
I needed a shower. I have never been so disgusted by a hookup in my life.
Bob didn't like him either: "That guy was way too kinky!"
But this morning he asked if he could spank me.
See also: What Not to Say During Sex; A Hookup with Brothers at the Dentist's Office