During my terrible year in Philadelphia, I didn't go out a lot. I remember only three hookups, and they were all crazy. Like Brandon and his angry inch.
Meeting: I see Brandon's picture on a gay chat site. Muscular, deep tan, dark curly hair, short beard, dreamy.
His profile: 21 years old, shorter than me, ftm transman, t for 2 years, post-op torso sculpting 14 months.
I've never been with a transgender person, but I'm not opposed to the idea. And the torso sculpting sounds nice.
I start a chat: "Congratulations on transitioning at such a young age."
He's a math major at Ursinus College, about 30 miles away, sharing an apartment with two friends. He doesn't know any other trans people. I mention three that I know Upstate, and offer to put him in contact with them.
I don't suggest getting together; I never cruise younger guys. It's their job to cruise me. But he doesn't.
I see him in the chatroom a few times after that, but he never contacts me.
Musical Appointment Calendars:
A month later, Brandon sends me a message out of nowhere. "I'm coming into Philadelphia today, and I have the afternoon free. Want to fool around?"
Sounds like a desperation hookup, but ok.
I don't see the message until that night. I try to reschedule for Thursday. He agrees, but cancels at the last minute, saying a friend is in the hospital. So dinner Saturday night? He agrees. Then on Saturday morning he says he can't make it, can we get together now?
Ok.
Brandon comes to the door. He is even more extraordinarily cute in person.
I plan on sitting him down, asking if he wants a beverage, playing it cool, but we immediately start kissing and groping.
I don't feel anything when I grope him, but I figure he's just very small.
Our shirts come off. He has a hairy chest, nice muscular pecs. He unzips me. I slide my pants off and push him onto the futon for more kissing. He fondles me.
I unbuckle his pants and slide them down to his knees.
Ok, this is weird.
Is that as good as the doctors could do? It doesn't look anything like male body parts.
"Um...you're going to have to show me around down there," I say. "I've never been in this type of territory before."
He shows me. He's an aggressive top, driving his equipment into wherever on my body he can find.
Afterwards, we kiss and cuddle for awhile, and then he's ready for more. And more. And more.
The session only ends because he has somewhere to be. I suspect that he could keep going all day.
He checks Brandon's profile on the chatroom website. "You dope! Did you even read his profile? He's taking testosterone, and he's post-op for torso sculpting. He hasn't done any transitioning beneath the belt!"
"You mean...those were just ordinary lady parts?"
"Yup."
Suddenly I'm very embarrassed. All afternoon I thought I was dealing with special transman parts, and it was just a regular vagina and clitoris, like everyone born female has!
"Ok, I've taken sex ed, and I've seen naked women in movies, and I know they don't have Pacific Island atolls and angry inches."
"The testosterone probably caused some masculinzation."
"Just ordinary lady parts," I repeat. "No wonder he didn't want me on top of him. There was a vagina down there."
Chad is silent for a few minutes. Then: "Sounds like you had a nice time, even without a penis. Are you going to hook up again?"
"I'm not sure."
Besides, no one will know the difference except their sexual partners, and any sexual partner so worried over 1" versus 6" isn't worth bothering with.
And Brandon is very cute and very, very enthusiastic.
Still, I would really like a penis.
Yes, but it's, as said, a lot of trans people can't afford genital surgery. It is nice that you were mature about it, having seen so many terfs.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I always found the diagrams worthless. Planned Parenthood, at least in the States, assumes every man is circumcised. A minor detail, I'd already seen what a circumcised penis looked like at the urinal when I was 6. (I had a white friend. Strangely as we grew up, he tried to watch me piss more than once.) But it does niggle at the mind.