Of course, they're nervous. They've never given up control before. But they're intrigued -- and enthusiastic. The sooner you can set up a scene, the better.
Even if you're not into bondage and domination play, a tied up twink is pleasant for "vanilla sex," oral, anal, and interfemoral.
There are 8 steps to a successful BDSM scene.
I prefer my bottoms, also called "subs" or "boys," to be young and thin, but any age and size is fine.
Never suggest a scene for a first date or hookup.
All BDSM play involves dominance and force, so it's important to have a verbal contract in advance. Agree on which acts will or might occur. Arrange for a safe word for him to use if he wants an activity to stop.
No, there is no one who is "into everything." He has to specify what he definitely wants to happen, what he is ok with, and what he definitely doesn't want to happen.
2. Set Up the Space
If you don't have a separate room set up as a dungeon, any room will work. I use my regular bedroom, but remove the usual paraphernalia, put dark drapes on the windows, black sheets on the bed, and my equipment laid out on the dresser. Some sinister-looking artwork, gargoyles and such.
Loud music is essential to drown out the other sounds. A classical symphony sounds majestic, or you can go with heavy metal: I like Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and Marilyn Manson,
3. Shift from Regular Time to the Scene
After the preliminaries -- the small talk, the drinks, the bathroom break, some kissing and fondling -- the scene begins.
I always tell the bottom that the scene begins when I put on my leather vest, and ends when I take it off. During that period, neither of us have names. I will not speak to him except to issue commands, and he is not permitted to say anything except his safe word, "Yes, sir," and "No, sir,"
I then go into the other room, take off my shirt, put on my leather vest, and return. I order the bottom to strip, kneel, unzip me, and go down on me with his hands behind his back.
Then we're ready for the scene to begin.
4. Immobilization
The bottom must be immobilized, hands over head, hands behind back, or spreadeagle.
Aesthetically, I prefer hands behind back, but spreadeagle, face up, gives you more of the body to work on without shifting positions.
You will be using rope -- handcuffs are a pain --, so practice in advance. Nothing ruins the scene more than fumbling around.
I prefer that the bottom be gagged and blindfolded also.
Ordinary clothesline works well enough for the arms and legs, but for the cock and balls, you'll need thin rawhide strips. Shoelaces can substitute in a pinch.
More after the break.
