But the hookup opportunities were enormous. Maybe we knew so much about safe sex that anonymous encounters no longer seemed risky, or maybe the East Village never developed the "date first, bedroom later" culture of West Hollywood, but cruising was constant, and intense.
Here are my top "bedroom first, dating later" stories from four years in New York.
1. Conrad, who came to my room to fix my computer.
2. Dustin, who invited me to an all-nighter after a meeting of the New York Bondage Club.
3. The fireman who came by when my crazy roommate left an open can of tuna in his room during Christmas break. We thought something died in there.
4. The Lebanese guy I met online, who asked "do you want to hang out?" by which he meant come to my room for oral.
Year 2
5. The older bear who lived only a few blocks from my parents' house in Indianapolis. I dropped in for a "quickie" on the way to the bars.
6. The unhung hippie who Yuri and I shared after a conversation of about five minutes.
7. I was conducting a research project that required me to interview gay men. Carl refused to be interviews, but agreed to show me his Kielbasa+.
8. Prasert, the chef in a Thai restaurant in Paris. I ate there almost every night. One night he invited me into the kitchen to show me a "new recipe." In the stock room.
Year 3
9. Barry, on the night we exorcised the homophobic demon.
10. The Man in Black who cruised me on Christopher Street.
11. When Yuri came to Manhattan for the weekend, we went cruising at the Eagle, and he was approached by a Korean gym rat. He was reluctant, having heard that Asians are small beneath the belt, but I talked him into it.
12. When I was visiting Zack in Providence, we went to a bar that had a little enclosed patio, the equivalent of dark rooms in European bars. I went down on a guy while he was staring straight ahead, pretending to not even know I was there. You can't get more anonymous than that!
Year 4
13. I broke every rule of cruising, and followed Jorge out into the cold, dark night with only an exchange of first names.
14. Shen the Chinese history major. We spent the whole evening in his room, watching tv.
15. Carey, the Football Player Who Got Unstuck in Time.
16. The NYU undergrad who came to my apartment in the rain and refused to leave until the sun was out. The next afternoon.
3. The fireman who came by when my crazy roommate left an open can of tuna in his room during Christmas break. We thought something died in there.
4. The Lebanese guy I met online, who asked "do you want to hang out?" by which he meant come to my room for oral.
5. The older bear who lived only a few blocks from my parents' house in Indianapolis. I dropped in for a "quickie" on the way to the bars.
6. The unhung hippie who Yuri and I shared after a conversation of about five minutes.
7. I was conducting a research project that required me to interview gay men. Carl refused to be interviews, but agreed to show me his Kielbasa+.
8. Prasert, the chef in a Thai restaurant in Paris. I ate there almost every night. One night he invited me into the kitchen to show me a "new recipe." In the stock room.
9. Barry, on the night we exorcised the homophobic demon.
10. The Man in Black who cruised me on Christopher Street.
11. When Yuri came to Manhattan for the weekend, we went cruising at the Eagle, and he was approached by a Korean gym rat. He was reluctant, having heard that Asians are small beneath the belt, but I talked him into it.
12. When I was visiting Zack in Providence, we went to a bar that had a little enclosed patio, the equivalent of dark rooms in European bars. I went down on a guy while he was staring straight ahead, pretending to not even know I was there. You can't get more anonymous than that!
13. I broke every rule of cruising, and followed Jorge out into the cold, dark night with only an exchange of first names.
14. Shen the Chinese history major. We spent the whole evening in his room, watching tv.
15. Carey, the Football Player Who Got Unstuck in Time.
16. The NYU undergrad who came to my apartment in the rain and refused to leave until the sun was out. The next afternoon.
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