Gideon moves out of the friend zone: A Gideon x Keefe romance

 

"This is it," Gideon Gemstone told himself as he stood at the entrance of Woodpecker's Carpentry, watching the workers inside, and trying not to be noticed.  "Enough stalling.  You make your move now, or forget about it."

Suddenly a burly middle-aged man in a blue worker's suit appeared. "Hello.  I'm Bishop, the owner.  Can I help you with something?"

"I was just admiring the wood carvings.  I like that Grinch in a Santa Claus suit, and the bobble-head Trump...."  Thinking fast, he added. "But I was really looking for a birthday present for my Granddad.  Eli Gemstone -- you probably heard of him."

"The pastor at the Salvation Center? Sure, half my crew goes there, or watches the Praise Be to He hour on Sunday mornings. He's retired, isn't he? Who's the preacher now?"

"Jesse Gemstone.  I'm his son, Gideon."

He chuckled.  "How about that!   We're having a run on Gemstones today.  Your Uncle Kelvin was in earlier, probably shopping for the same thing.  He was talkin' up a storm with our new guy, Keefe."

Uncle Kelvin!  Gulp -- maybe it was too late.

For two years, Uncle Kelvin had been bringing Keefe to family dinners, barbecues, Christmas parties, everything: the hottest guy Gideon had ever seen. with shoulder-length blond hair, a short beard, an incredibly muscular chest inscribed faintly with a 666, a remnant of his former Satanism that made him even hotter.  

Were Kelvin and Keefe boyfriends?  The evangelical "don't ask, don't tell" policy meant that they would pretend to be just good buddies, regardless.  Even their social media pages were ambiguous.  But what if they were?  Being screwed by a guy who had screwed his uncle!  Forbidden romance, with a hint of incest -- could he get much hotter?  Gideon began fantasizing about Keefe -- a lot.

Then Keefe announced on his Instagram that he was moving out of the Gemstone compound. Two days later, that he was no longer working as assistant youth pastor: he had returned to his old job as a carpenter.  Obviously they had broken up -- if they were ever boyfriends in the first place. A perfect time for Gideon to move in!

Suddenly Gideon realized that the Burly Carpenter was staring at him, expecting him to say something.  "Sure, I know Keefe.  He used to be the assistant youth pastor at the Salvation Center.  I'll bet Uncle Kelvin wanted to commission a gift for Granddad.  Hey, maybe we could go in on a gift together.  Could I talk to him?"

"I'll go get him." Burly retreated to the work floor.  A moment later, Keefe appeared -- incredibly hot in a work shirt that left his arms and shoulders bare.  He smiled...a good sign, right?  "Hi, Gideon.  How's the family doing?"

The full story is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

Nude Photos of Pontius Gemstone

  

In Episode 3.4 of The Righteous Gemstones, Jesse Gemstone walks through the house brushing his teeth, and stumbles across his son Pontius having sex with his girlfriend -- in a downstairs study?  With the window wide open?  I see Pontius has inherited the Gemstone cluelessness. 

Pontius was rejected by every college he applied to, so he must be a high school graduate, therefore 18.  But I was still hesitant about posting a shot of his bare butt, since Kelton DuMont (Pontius) has not revealed his age online. Could he have been under 18 when the scene was filmed?

The full post is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

A Sleepover with the Juvenile Delinquent: A Young Gideon Adventure

 “Hey, Bro,” Pontius called, rushing up to Gideon’s locker at the Riverpointe Christian Academy in Charleston. 

“Hey, yourself.”  Gideon was a bit suspicious: his younger brother rarely talked to him at school.  Sometimes he didn’t even accept a ride home, preferring to call one of the Gemstone drivers to avoid being seen with a “glee club nerd.”  An odd insult, since Gideon didn’t belong to Glee Club.

"Ok, here’s the thing. I want to have a sleepover Friday night, and you have to come."

"No way, José! 16-year olds do not go to slumber parties.”

“You used to like them.”

“Sure, gu5 I used to like Battlebots, too. I grew up.”

From his 10th birthday until last year, when he graduated to the high school building at the Academy, Gideon and Pontius hosted sleepovers at least once a month. They each invited two or three boys, plus their younger brother Abraham by default. They spent the night playing video games, watching tv, eating snacks, and bragging about how late they were staying up.  Then they bedded down in the Kid Guest Room, Pontius and Abraham on the top bunk, Gideon and another boy “on the bottom,” and the rest in sleeping bags.   Gideon always took awhile to choose his bed partner: not necessarily his best friend.  Maybe even one of Pontius’s friends, if he was cute. 

How did I know which boys were cute?  Gideon thought, surprised by the memory.  Why did I care?

The full story is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Nude Photos of Vance Simkins/Stephen Dorff

  

Vance Simkins appeared in Episode 3.1 of The Righteous Gemstones as one of the three Simpkins siblings, arch-rivals of the Gemstones.  He hasn't done much since, but hopefully he'll be around -- and shirtless -- at some point in future episodes.

Vance is played by Stephen Dorff, a Hollywood hunk and dramatic and comedic staple for 40 year.  Go through his list of acting credits on the IMDB and count the movies and tv shows you haven't seen -- it will be easier. I remember his 1990s work most fondly: S.F.W,, I Shot Andy Warhol, City of Industry, Blade, Cecil B. Demented.  A surprising number of gay and otherwise queer characters.

The full post is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

The Running of the Butts: Male Nudity in "The Righteous Gemstones," Episode 1.3

  

Commenting on the frequent male nudity in the first season of The Righteous Gemstones, Edie Patterson (Judy) said "We're not gay baiting" (using the term wrong), and Danny McBride (Jesse) confirmed that gay men "won't like these dicks."

Speak for yourself.  In Episode 1.3, a group of thugs are hired to take down Eli.  He gets the upper hand and humiliates them by forcing them to run naked through the shopping mall.  

The full post is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends