My Date with Robin Williams and His Mega-Hunk Boyfriend

West Hollywood, September 1985

When I first moved to West Hollywod, I expected to see (and meet, and date) celebrities all the time.  But during my first two months, I saw only four., and only met (and sort of dated) one.

So when my friend Marcus invited me to a Labor Day pool party hosted by his film-producer housemate, visions of celebrity beefcake filled my head.

Sylvester Stallone and Lou Ferrigno sunbathe nude.  

Harrison Ford in a speedo dives into the pool and splashes Steve Gutenberg.

Mel Gibson struts  about in his bulgeworthy Mad Max leather chaps.

Besides I heard about West Hollywood parties, where the games involve  penis size contests and the evening ends in the bedroom, with couples bringing in a third to "share."  Maybe me and Harrison Ford and Steve Guttenberg!

Marcus' house was in the Hollywood Hills, only a few miles from my apartment in West Hollywood, but through a maze of narrow, curvy roads named after Greek gods: Hercules, Zeus, Venus, Achilles.

On the way up Laurel Canyon Boulevard, the car behind me decided that I was going too slow, and zoomed around.  As it passed, I got a glimpse of the swishy queen in the passenger seat sneering at me.

It was Robin Williams (1951-2014), soon to become a comedy legend with starring roles in movies like Mrs. Doubtfire, The Fisher King, Hook, Aladdin, and Good Will Hunting.

In 1985 I knew him mostly as the effervescent fish-out-of-water Mork, an alien observer who misunderstood Earth customs and recited treacly morals on the tv show Mork and Mindy (1978-1982), but I had also seen him in Popeye (1980) and The World According to Garp (1982).

He was 34 years old, with rather homely face, but a thick, almost muscular frame and a fabulously fur-covered chest and belly.

Who knew that he was so swishy?

I followed the car as it turned right onto Mount Olympus Drive, then Electra, then Achilles.

We were going to the same party! Robin was gay!

 We pulled up to the valet parking station at the same time.

My jaw dropped: Robin's date was gorgeous! Mid-20s,tanned, Mediterranean features, v-shaped torso, massive shoulders, thick biceps.

"Hi, I'm Boomer!" I exclaimed.

"Pete," the date said with a friendly smile, shaking my hand vigorously.  Robin ignored me and touched Pete's shoulder.  "Could we go inside now?"

He shrugged.  They disappeared inside the house.

I was rather offender -- I naively expected all celebrities to be as friendly as Michael J. Fox -- but Pete piqued my interest, and Robin, swishy or not, was part of the deal.  I was definitely going to be sharing their bed at the end of this party!

Unfortunately, it turned out to be not a West Hollywood party after all.  A lot of men and women standing around in the living room, drinking cocktails and wine spritzers.

A few minor celebrities: C. Thomas Howell (Red Dawn), Tom Hulce (Amadeus), Dean Paul Martin (Misfits of Science).  With women.

I found Marcus out by the pool, where there was a more pleasant male-female ratio, plus hunks in swimsuits.  "Hey, I thought this was a West Hollywood party! All groping and three-ways!"

He grinned.  "It might get a little steamy later on, after the heteros leave."

"Great!  There's still a chance I can make it with Robin Williams and his super-hot boy toy."

"Robin Williams brought a date?  I knew he was gay, but I always figured he was too closeted to be seen with guys in public."

"Well, maybe he's coming out.  And you should see the hunk he's snared!"

 At that moment, Pete emerged onto the patio -- alone.  Seeing my chance, I brought Marcus as an excuse to talk to him.

"We're in town for a week," he told us, "While Robin is appearing at the Comedy Store."  So this wasn't their first date -- they were boyfriends.  "I miss San Francisco, and my home gym.  I can't wait to get back."

"I go to the Hollywood Spa.  It's a nice facility...." I began.

"Sorry, it's noisy out here," Pete said, leaning close.  I put my arm around his waist.  Marcus found someone else he needed to say hello to, and vanished.  "How's the free weight situation?"

Pete was cruising me while his boyfriend was in the other room?  He must want to "share. "Excellent.  I can get you a day pass, if you'd like to work out with me -- say tomorrow afternoon?  Robin, too -- a lot of celebrities work out there."

"Sounds great.  I'll have to check with the Boss, but I think we're free."

I laughed at his joke -- calling his partner The Boss!"


We had barely finished exchanging telephone numbers when Robin flounced onto the patio like a 1930s movie diva.  "I'm all done here," he said curtly.  "Let's go."

"I invited Pete to work out with me tomorrow," I said. "You're invited too, of course.  And afterwards maybe we could have dinner...."

Followed by sharing!

Robin glared at me, no doubt upset at someone cruising his date.  "Sorry, but I'm very busy. I'm working on some new material for my show tomorrow night."  He pulled at Pete's arm.  "Come on, we're done here."

Pete shot me a pained look and allowed himself to be led out.

We didn't work out together, but the next night Pete called and asked if I wanted to go cruising.  We went to the Gold Coast, where we looked at the hot guys, talked about San Francisco  -- surprisingly, he didn't say much about Robin, except that they had been together for less than a year.  We drank orange juice, kissed, and groped.

Then I followed Pete to a house on Crestview Street where all of the out-of-town performers at the Comedy Store stay.

We sat on the couch, and Pete pushed my hand down onto the bulge in his jeans.  He was already aroused.

Shouldn't we wait for Robin to get here?  "What about Robin...." I murmured.

"Oh, he doesn't mind," Pete said, unzipping.  His Kielbasa+, uncut, sprang to life.  I wrapped my hand around the shaft.

I started going down on him.  He leaned back and spread his legs and mussed my hair.  "That's good -- great."

I worked feverishly, expecting the door to open at any moment and an irate boyfriend to come bursting in.  Soon Pete spurted down my throat with a very loud "Yeah!", then moved me to the floor to go down on me.  But I wasn't able to stay aroused.  Eventually he switched to using his hand while we kissed.

When I finished, I tried to lead Pete into the bedroom, but he said "Robin will be back soon, so you'd better go."

What about sharing?  "Go?  Wait -- I thought..."

"But it's been great!  We're heading back to San Francisco tomorrow, but keep in touch.  Maybe you can come up and visit sometime."

"That would be fun."  I walked out of the house feeling guilty, unclean.  This was not sharing.  Closeted celebrity or not, I had helped Pete cheat on his boyfriend.

I didn't call Pete in San Francisco, and I didn't make up a "sharing" experience to tell at West Hollywood parties.   I didn't want anything more to do with the sordid affair.

Was Robin Williams Gay?

In September 1985, Robin Williams was married to Valerie Valardi, with a two year old son, Zachary.  He would marry twice more during his life.

He played many gay and gay-vague characters over the years, in The Birdcage, The Night Listener, and in his last movie, The Boulevard.   Some of his performances were extremely homophobic, yet he was always an advocate for gay rights and gay marriage.  When her daughter Zelda came out as bisexual, Robin was completely supportive.

One would expect that, with that gay-positive background, Robin would be open about being bisexual, but he always insisted that he was 100% into the ladies.  He never even considered having a same-sex experience.

So, if Pete wasn't a boyfriend, who was he?

Maybe a personal assistant or a bodyguard?  He never claimed that they were boyfriends, and he did call Robin "the boss."

By the way, in case you want to see it, here's Robin's penis, from The World's Greatest Dad (2009).  There may have been some shrinkage.

See also: Michael J. Fox Beneath the Belt; and The World According to Mork

Janik, the Frisian Bodybuilder at the Horseman's Club

Amsterdam, June 2003

Just after getting my Ph.D., when I was living in Florida (2001-2005), I tried to go to Europe every year at Christmas or spring break: a weekend in Amsterdam, a night in Brussels,two or  three days in Paris, and then home. I always liked to be in Amsterdam on Sunday nights, when the Horsemen met at the Argos Bar on Warmoesstraat.   It was a social club -- no sex allowed -- but members all had to be nude. Their guests had the option of nudity or underwear.

The membership fee varied depending on your size (yes, they took measurements).  "A" got in free.

So the majority of men drinking beer, playing pool, and cruising had the endowments of porn stars.

It was quite a nice place for sightseeing, and sometimes guys would invite you back to their house.

In the spring of 2003, I met Janik, smooth, muscular, balding, in his early 40s, in the A category and then some, as big as my Cousin Joe, or bigger  (#9 on my Sausage List).

He was pleasant to talk to -- even after I admitted to being American (usually I claimed to be Canadian to avoid being asked why Americans were such idiots).  And at the end of the evening, he invited me back to his place -- in Heerenveen.

Heerenveen, Netherlands, Summer 2003

90 miles north of Amsterdam, 2 hours by train, in Friesland (where most people speak Frisian, not Dutch).  Janik had a tiny apartment on the same block as the "Dirty Duck Coffeeshop" and a heterosexual dance club called "Party Cafe Salsa," which made it quite noisy at night.

Still, we had a very nice evening, and in the morning Janik said, "Stay here with me.  We can be lovers. I can get you a work visa."

Living in Europe with a muscle god in the A+++ category vs. teaching sociology in Florida?  It sounded like a good deal.

So I cancelled my day in Brussels.

On Monday morning Janik went to work, leaving me to go sightseeing in Heerenveen.  Unfortunately, there was not much to do except walk around and look at the houses and canals.  I ended up buying a Frisian phrase book and a depressing French novel about Tintin's sexual problems.  Janik came home, and we went to the gym, then got Japanese take out and watched soccer on tv.

I hate sports and Japanese food.

But we had a very nice evening later, so I cancelled my train to Paris.

On Tuesday, while he was at work, I took the train into Groningen and saw the Martinitoren (St. Martin's Tower) and the Netherlands Stripmuseum (a museum of cartoon and comic strip art).  But the train was so crowded with rush hour traffic that I didn't get home until 7:30 pm.  We got Indonesian take out and watched The Simpsons dubbed in Dutch.

I would have to learn both Dutch and Frisian to live here.  I like languages, but I'd really rather learn something that would be useful outside of Friesland.

On Wednesday, I signed up for a Frisian class and then went out looking for jobs on my own.  The manager of the only gay bar in Heerenveen, Le Clochard, said he could use a waiter who spoke English and German.  That night Janik and I went to the gym, then got Japanese take out and watched soccer on tv.

I still hate sports and Japanese food.

Waiting tables and watching sports with a muscle god in the A+++ category, or teaching sociology in Florida?

On Thursday I took the train to Amsterdam and got on my 5:00 pm flight back home.

See also: The Surprise in the Dutch Afro-Caribbean Horseman's Bedroom

Scott Baio's Hookup with His Cousin and the "Fantasy Island" Guy

Of all the gay rumors I heard about Scott Baio, the most outrageous was the alleged three-way he had with his cousin Jimmy Baio and older actor Ricardo Montalban.

I heard several different versions from several guys, but it all boils down to three basic plots:









Story 1:

It was 1977, and 17 year old Scott has just finished Blansky's Beauties, while 15 year old Jimmy had just finished with The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training.

Scott's father, a canny stage dad who knew his way around strategic casting couches, arranged an introduction to the dapper Mexican-born Ricardo Montalban, age 56, then filming the first episodes of the Saturday-night old-person's favorite Fantasy Island (1977-84).

Montalban had seen Jimmy in The Bad News Bears, and asked that he be included to "sweeten" the deal.

They met at a hotel in Hollywood.  My source went into detail about the sexual activity, but I won't repeat it here, since Scott and Jimmy were both underage.

Story #2

It was 1980, and Scott, age 20, was playing Fonzie's cousin Chachi on Happy Days, while Jimmy, age 18, was a bigger star, playing Billy Tate on Soap.  

59-year old Montalban, who was filming Fantasy Island at ABC's Burbank studio, was a fan of Soap, and sometimes came to watch rehearsals.  He and Jimmy, who was gay but closeted, soon began a romantic relationship.

When Scott heard about Montalban's proficiency in bed and enormous 10" penis, he begged Jimmy to let him watch.  Montalban agreed.

They met at Scott's house in Studio City.  After playing pool and drinking some wine coolers, they went into the bedroom, where Scott watched as Montalban and Jimmy kissed and fondled each other, then got undressed.

As Jimmy was going down on Montalban, he motioned for Scott to join them.  Scott eagerly got undressed.  His 6" was already aroused.

Montalban told them to kiss and rub their erections together, while he topped Scott.  But Scott couldn't take his penis, so Montalban changed his mind: he topped Jimmy while Scott was going down on him.

Then he ordered Scott to bring himself to orgasm while they watched.

The hookup was never repeated, and Jimmy and Montalban broke up a short time later.

Story #3:

It was 1984, and Scott, age 24, was starring in Charles in Charge, while Jimmy, age 22, was scrounging around for tv guest spots after the cancellation of Soap.

Jimmy often went to the cruising area in Griffith Park, and one day he saw the 63-year old Montalban there.  They had met several times, but neither knew the other was gay.

They went back to Montalban's house on Oriole Street in the Hollywood Hills and hooked up.

 Jimmy was an anal bottom, but this was during the AIDS crisis, so he confined himself to going down on Montalban's enormous penis, kissing, and interfemoral.

Montalban suggested BDSM activity in addition to vanilla sex.  Jimmy agreed, as long as his cousin Scott, who was well known as a BDSM bottom, came along.

They met at Montalban's house, which had a fully equipped BDSM dungeon.

Montalban forced them to strip and fondle each other.  Then he chained them together for light whipping and clothespins on their nipples and bellies.

Then Jimmy had to go down on Montalban while Scott remained fully aroused without touching himself.  If Scott lost his arousal, he would get spanked.

He got spanked.

Jimmy didn't like the BDSM scene, so it was never repeated.  He and Montalban broke up shortly thereafter.

Which Story is True?

Theoretically, all three: Scott has been the subject of many gay rumors, and Jimmy, who now lives in New York City and has never married, is probably gay.  Ricardo Montalban was a devout Catholic, married to his wife Georgina for over 60 years, with four children and no gay rumors that I can find.  But that doesn't mean he wasn't interested in occasional same-sex activity.

#1:  I find it very unlikely that the suave, sophisticated Montalban saw The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training.  And although I've heard about the casting-couch-pimping father before, Montalban seems an unlikely candidate: he had been in many minor movies and tv shows, but was not particularly famous, and was in no position to advance Scott's career.

#3: Scott has been the subject of BDSM rumors, and the details of Montalban's residence and penis size are accurate.  But Montalban was living with his wife and his youngest son Vic at the time.  It is unlikely that he had a BDSM dungeon in his basement.

#2: Sounds most realistic.  By 1980, Montalban knew Scott and Jimmy from their guest spot on a May 13, 1979 episode of Fantasy Island (Jimmy guest starred by himself on an October 31, 1981 episode).  A studio meeting makes more sense than a cruising area. If any of them is true (and they may all be pure fabrications), this one is.

See also: The Top 10 Rumors about Scott Baio; Scott Baio and the Hard Master.