Alan Dates Will of "Land of the Lost"

Alan the Pentecostal Porn Star didn't like telling celebrity dating or hookup stories: "Does being on tv automatically make guys hotter?  Does it give them a bigger cock?  What's the point?"  

But when he set his mind to it, he had some good stories: he dated David Johnson, son of the professor on Gilligan's Island; two of the male cast members of M*A*S*H (not Alan Alda); and Land of the Lost star Wesley Eure.

West Hollywood, June 1979

In May 1978, three days after graduating from ultra-fundamentalist Waynesburg College in rural Pennsylvania, Alan arrived in the gay ghetto of West Hollywood.  It was the halcyon days of sexual excess, after Gay Liberation but before AIDS, when there were enough bars and bathhouses in town to fill every night with dates and tricks.  And he dated and tricked with the best of them.

In the spring of 1979, he met Donnie, a production  manager/stage manager/general factotum at CBS.  They had sex once, then became friends, as was the custom in those day.  He told Alan about his gay sex party with Sid Krofft and Jack Wild, star of the Saturday-morning kidvid show H.R. Pufnstuf.

"I always thought those boys on the Krofft shows were gay.  Butch Patrick on Lidsville...Johnny Whitaker on Sigmund and the Sea Monsters...."

"Well, there was some casting couch stuff going on with Sid, but those guys were mostly straight. Other than Jack Wild, the only one I know for sure is gay is Wesley Eure."

The last of the Krofft Shows, Land of the Lost (1974-1976), was the most ambitious.  A whole family -- father, son, and daughter -- trapped in a prehistoric world with dinosaurs, evil reptilian Sleestaks, and helpful humanoid Pakuni..  They hire Star Trek alumni as writers, and a UCLA linguist to invent the Pakuni language.  And instead of their usual fey prettyboys, they got a real rugged outdoorsman to play the son.

A little old for a Krofft boy, age 23 when the show began, Wesley Eure was tall and buffed, with black curly hair and a dazzling teen-idol smile. He was a talented singer, selected to replace David Cassidy on The Partridge Family, and a classically-trained dramatic actor who had performed Shakespeare and Eugene O'Neill.  Yet he didn't balk at being chased by dinosaurs every week.

"How do you know he's gay?" Alan asked.  "Have you tricked with him?"

Donnie laughed.  "Not tricked, no -- we dated. Candy, flowers, a soda with two straws, a kiss on the doorstep, the whole romantic bit.  But he dumped me after the third date."

"Things getting too real for him?"

"I was getting too out for him.  He's strictly closeted."

"Closeted, in 1979?  That's ridiculous!"  Alan exclaimed.  "Being gay is legal now.  Willie Brown is on our side.  There are gay characters on tv all the time. What's he got to be afraid of?  Give me this guy's number, and I'll pull him out of the closet."

"What makes you think you're his type?"

Alan grinned.  "Have you seen my cock lately?  I'm everybody's type."

So Donnie called Wesley and arranged for him to met Alan for dinner at the Formosa Cafe near Plummer Park.

Wesley was 27 years old, but too big and buffed to be a twink. Since Land of the Lost ended, he had done some soaps and guest spots, and he was very excited about the movie C.H.O.M.P.s, a superhero spoof about a boy who invents a robot dog.

"It could become a tv series!" Wesley exclaimed.  "And I'd get to kiss Valerie Bertinelli every week -- nothing wrong with that, right?"

Alan stared.

"Sorry -- it's my cover.  I'm so used to pretending to be straight..."

"Well, tonight you're gay through and through.  I've got a whole tour of Hollywood planned: the Bunkhouse, the Rawhide, Circus Disco -- then, if you're up for it, the baths."

"I can't go to gay bars, or the baths.  What if someone recognizes me?"

Alan sighed and allowed himself to be invited home.  The sex was hot.  Wesley had a hard smooth chest, a tight belly, and a beautifully shaped 6-inch penis.  They kissed and fondled for a long time, almost to climax, and then Wesley went down on Alan -- he could take it all without gagging.  After he finished, he moved into the 69 position for the second round, and then interfemoral.

Later, as they were cuddling in bed, Alan said, "So, dating you will involve just going out to dinner and talking about Valerie Bertinelli?  No dancing, no movies, no cruising?"

"I can't be seen in any gay places," Wesley said.  "Not if I want a career.  If this is going to go any farther, you'll have to be cool with that."  He began kissing Alan's chest, and slowly moved down to his belly and crotch.  "I can make quiet nights at home worthwhile."

"Sounds cool," Alan said.  "But for our next dinner, I get to pick the place."  He moaned as Wesley began going down on him for the third time that evening.

Two days later, Alan picked up Wesley at his apartment.  "We're meeting some of my friends -- I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," Wesley said.  It was traditional to introduce your boyfriend to your friends on the second or third date. "Gay or straight?"

Alan glared at him.  "What do you think?"

They drove to a large, open restaurant near Santa Monica and Fairfax, down the street from Temple Beth El.  "I figured a Jewish neighborhood would be closeted enough for you."

Donnie and two other guys were sitting at the table waiting for them.

"Shouldn't there be some girls with us, just in case?" Wesley said doubtfully.

Alan shoved him to the table and made the introductions:  Morris Kight, president of the Stonewall Democratic Alliance, and Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Church!

All Wesley had heard of were bars and bathhouses -- he was astonished to discover that there were social clubs, political clubs, churches, magazines, newspapers, even a bookstore that specialized in gay literature.

While they were talking, a cute twink came over to ask for Wesley's autograph.  "You helped me come out!" he exclaimed.  "Watching you on Land of the Lost in those cut-off jeans made me realize that I was gay."

After he left, Wesley turned to Alan.  "He was awfully open about being gay.  Is this a gay restaurant?"

Alan grinned.  "You got me.  This is the French Quarter, the nicest restaurant in the gay ghetto."

"Gay ghetto -- I thought this was a Jewish neighborhood."

"We share," Troy said.  "There's plenty of room for everyone in West Hollywood."

Alan reached over and grabbed his hand under the table, then slowly raised it up to the tabletop, so that they were holding hands obviously, in public.  The other guys ignored them.

"After dinner we can go back to my apartment," Alan said, "Or we can go to the Circus Disco.  I'll have to warn you, though, there won't be any girls there."

"Well, maybe a few drag queens," Donnie said.

Wesley thought for a moment, but only for a moment.  "The disco."

Alan and Wesley dated for another month or so before breaking up.  When gay rumors caused him to be fired from Days of Our Lives in 1981, Wesley returned to the closet, and did not come out publicly until 2009.

See: Donnie's Gay Sex Party with Jack Wild; Alan's Top 20 Tricks, Scenes, and Dates