10 Thing You Should Know About Dating Bodybuilders

Lately I've been getting a lot of soft, slim twinks, but when I lived in gay neighborhoods,  I was heavily invested in the bodybuilding subculture, and more than one bodybuilder ended up in my bed, as a date or a hookup.

Here are some tips on how to meet, date, and hookup with a bodybuilder.

1. There aren't a lot around

Many people lift weights -- strength training is an essential component of physical fitness.  A small percentage, maybe about a third of the guys at the campus gym and a tenth of the guys at the YMCA, get some mass and definition, through dedication, proper form, and genetics.

But the bodybuilder is striving for competitive-quality muscle size, definition, and symmetry.  There are three or four who work out at the campus gym, and maybe two at the YMCA.

2. But they are available

Bodybuilders spend their lives being touched, fondled, judged, evaluated, looked at, and lusted at by other men.  A few are homophobic, but the majority have no qualms about getting down with a guy, even if they prefer women for romance.

3. Most are in their 20s and 30s.

Teenagers typically lack the time and stamina for bodybuilding, and after 40, you're fighting an uphill battle.  Muscle doesn't turn to fat -- that's a myth -- but as your metabolism and activity level decline, if you don't watch your eating habits, you will add fat.  Many former bodybuilders are pleasantly plump in their 50s and 60s.

4. You need to be knowledgeable.

They have devoted their lives to learning how the body works, how the muscle groups can be trained, how to achieve their optimal mass and definition.  If you don't know anything about muscles except that they're pretty, you will be unlikely to catch their attention, and if you do, you'll have nothing to talk about on your date.

5. You need another selling point.

They talk about muscles and fitness all day.  While you should be knowledgeable, you must have another selling point, something that makes you stand out in the crowd: a face, a penis, a sense of humor, creative or intellectual accomplishments.  I go with celebrity hookup stories or being multi-lingual.

More after the break.

6. They are Busy

Even amateur bodybuilders have to spend four hours a day at the gym, minimum.  Combine that with a full time job, six meals a day, and eight hours of sleep, and there's not a lot of time for romantic evenings.  Keep the date short.

7. They Aren't Partiers 

Along with that healthy lifestyle, they are up at dawn and in bed by 10:00 pm, so no movie/dinner/disco combos.

Your best bet is to suggest a physical activity, like jogging or swimming, in the afternoon rather than the evening.

8. They Aren't Hung

I've never met a bodybuilder who was spectacular beneath the belt, although some muscular gym rats can go over 8."  Most bodybuilders top off at 6" or less.  But you're not really in it for his cock, are you?

9. They Like to be Touched

They spend their lives being touched by trainers, judges, medics, and fans.  That's what they find erotic.  Spend a lot of time above the belt.  Kiss their chest,  fondle their biceps, beat off against their abs.

10. They are Hard.

Literally.  Those muscles feel literally like solid rock; there's little or no fat cushion.  And they are massive.  They can't lie on top of you: you will be crushed.

But I'm sure you can think of lots of things to do on top.

A G-rated version of this article is on Boomer Beefcake and Bonding.