The 10 Worst Hook Up Ice Breakers

Whether you're looking for a date, a hookup, or a friend, making contact online or in person, the first step has to be a conversation.  We used to call it an interview, because you have to acquire some basic information: the guy's name, his age (if he looks young), the type of relationship he wants, any traits that are immediate deal-breakers.  After that, it's up to you to pique his interest, present yourself in a way that makes it seem worth the risk of an hour in his bedroom, two hours at gym, or four hour at a dinner and movie plus an overnight.

But there are some questions and statements that have the opposite effect, making you appear sleazy, needy, creepy, vulgar, pretentious, or otherwise a problem.

Here are the top 10 worst questions and statements you could make during the first ice-breaking conversation:

1. How are you?  That's the world's most boring greeting.  The proper response is "Fine, thanks," and then you're back to nothing.

2. Are you having a good time?  Huh?  Who stops in the middle of an evening (or while cruising on Grindr) to evaluate the quality of the time they are having?  I can tell when I'm having a bad time, but otherwise I'm just existing.

3. Are you happy? An even greater "huh"? I don't have time to evaluate every instant of my life and determine if I am feeling generally more positive than negative.   

4. Where are you from?  That may work in big city gay neighborhoods where everyone is from somewhere else, but in small towns, everybody is from "here" or nearby, a small town that you've never heard of 20 miles away, or even worse, a small town that you never heard of with the same name as a big city: "Oh, you're from Prague!  That's my favorite town in Europe!"

5. What do you do?  Heterosexuals may ask that of each other, as they tend to be more defined by their jobs than gay people.  But in gay communities, the question is either embarrassing or meaningless.

6. Who's your hot friend?  Bringing up another guy's attractiveness?  Who thinks that will work?
















7. How big is your cock?  The 10% of the male population with big ones will be offended, thinking that you want them just for their equipment, and the 90% with average or small ones will be offended.  You don't need to know.

8. Do you know how hot you are?  Yes, he knows that you find him attractive, or you wouldn't have started the conversation.  Besides, if he actually is hot, he hears it a dozen times a day, so telling him will not pique his interest.

9. Do you work out?  Of course he works out.  All gay men work out.  Not very interesting.

10. Do you want to f*k?  You may think that you are saving time by getting right to the point, but the question is vulgar, and he may not even know yet.  That's the whole point of the initial conversation: to convince him to spend time with you.