Tony Dow and the Glory Hole at the Air Force Base

Last week 69-year old Jock, a retired landscaper and Uber driver from Tucson, told me a story of when he was in the California National Guard in 1966, and Tony Dow, the actor who starred as teenage hunk Wally in Leave It to Beaver, was in his barracks.  One day they all went out to the movies, and Wally and his friend picked up a high school boy.  Jock followed them, and watched as they had a three-way in the park.

But that's not the only story he has.

I'll use his words as much as possible.










Marysville, California, October 1966

When I was in boot camp, we got passes to go into town twice a week.  A lot of the guys tried to get some action with girls, but struck out  -- the Sexual Revolution hadn't yet hit Marysville -- you couldn't even get condoms -- so they couldn't wait to get back to the base and go to the latrine.

Boomer: Striking out made them want to go to the bathroom?

Let me set up the scenario.  All unmarried guardsmen under the rank of sergeant lived in barracks, or what they called dormitories.  One long, narrow room with 20 single beds and lockers, 10 on each side.

At the far end, you go through a lounge with two couches, some chairs, and a tv set, and then the latrine, two urinals and a toilet, right out there, not in a stall.  There was no window, so it was pitch-dark unless you turned on the light.  The switch, for some reason, was out in the lounge, by the tv set.

During my first few nights in the dormitory, I noticed that most guys who got up to use the latrine turned on the light -- you could see it glimmering under the lounge door.  But some didn't.  Why were they fumbling around in the dark?

Curious, I waited until someone went in without turning the light on, and followed, walking through the deserted lounge to the latrine door.  I pulled it open.

 It was musty, smelling of urine and someone's aftershave, and pitch-black except for a little gleam.  How could you even see where the urinal was?  I gingerly moved forward, my hand outstretched -- and suddenly I was touching a bare butt!

Boomer: Side or back?

Side. He was facing the toilet, like he was peeing into it.

"Wait your turn, buddy," the guy growled.

Wait your turn for what? I wondered.  There were two other urinals to pee into.  I reached down past the bare butt and felt a buzz-cut head, ears, neck, arms grabbing the guy's butt -- then my hand was batted away.

"I said fuck off.  I'm almost done."

The guy was getting a blow job!  I had no idea that g.i.'s had sex with each other, right there in the barracks!   My mind was majorly blown, let me tell you!

I retreated to the lounge and waited for the guy to leave.

"It's all yours," he whispered in passing.

I returned to the latrine and shut the door, and inched forward.  Someone grabbed my cock!

I reached down and felt that smooth hard chest again.  Farther down to the belly, pubic hair, and cock.   He was big -- at least 7" -- and aroused.

I fondled him for a moment, then stood directly in front of him, and he leaned down to blow me, his hands squeezing my bare butt.  I caressed his hair and face, squeezed his shoulders. When he started jerking me while licking my balls, that did it!

"I'm going to cum," I moaned.

"Shush," he murmured, and swallowed my load.

It was a perfect set up.!   Almost every night, about a half hour after lights out, the fag would get up...

Boomer: Watch your language.

Sorry.  That's what they called oral bottoms in those days.  Anyhoo, the oral bottom would go into the latrine without turning on the light, and we knew that he was ready to give blow jobs.  We were all young and horny, so he was busy.  On some nights there were two or three guys waiting.

 If someone turned on the light from the lounge outside, the guy getting the blow job would just turn around and pretend to be peeing at the urinal.

 Boomer: Was it the same guy giving the blow jobs every night?

Usually.  Sometimes another guy beat him to it.

Boomer: Did you ever get to be the oral bottom?

Once or twice he let me go down on him for a few minutes before he did me, but not usually, no.

But I didn't mind -- I'm still more of an oral top than a bottom, if you'd like to get together sometime and try me out.  Here's a recent photo.  Not bad for 69, huh?  And 69 is my favorite position, by the way.

Boomer: Mine, too.

Anyhoo, after 12 weeks of basic training, I shipped out to Moffett Airfield in Mountain View, California, where the latrine was right by the bunks, no way to hide.  Of course, guys still found ways to get it on. There was a supply closet off the tv lounge, and plenty of street cruising.

Not to mention San Francisco a short train ride away.  Golden Gate Park during the Summer of Love!  That was one far out trip, man!

Boomer:  Great story about being gay in the military in the 1960, but what does it have to do with Tony Dow?"

Oh, he shipped out somewhere else.  I don't remember where.  We weren't close, as I said.  He mostly pal-ed around with Kurt.

Boomer:  But you said this was a Tony Dow hookup story.  Was he one of the guys waiting in line for a blow job every night?"

Lord, no.  He was the f-- the oral bottom.

Boomer: The guy who sat on the toilet and gave blow jobs to anyone who wanted one?

Right.  I thought I made that clear.


Was Jock Telling the Truth?

Tony Dow has been linked with women only since 1968.

 I can see him engaging in some same-sex activity with a buddy, like his friend Kurt.  I can even see him as one of the guys waiting in line at the latrine, thinking that a mouth is a mouth.

But to seek multiple experiences with near-strangers in the equivalent of a glory hole?  I don't buy it.  I think time has clouded Jock's memories.

It's a good story though, even without a celebrity hookup.

See Also: Tony Dow and Kurt Hook Up with a High School Boy.

A Glory Hole at a Rest Stop in Arkansas

Forestville, Arkansas, May 1985

In 1984, just after getting my M.A. from Indiana University, I took a job in Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas.

If you don't count Christmas and spring breaks, 7 1/2 months, 210 miserable days in the worst place on earth: hot, humid, construction everywhere, heavy traffic constantly, every chore taking hours, flat tires several times a week, tiny apartment with no airconditioning, illliterate boozing landlord, heavy-metal blaring neighbor, an hour's drive to the nearest gay neighborhood, and all the gay people into hookups instead of dating and romance.

I hated every minute of it, except for my Italian class and the few occasions when a well-hung redneck shared my bed.

On May 8th, 1985, I packed my stuff into my car -- actually, I threw most of it out in order to travel light -- dropped off the apartment key to my horrible illiterate landlord, and drove to the horrible campus of Longhorn State University, where I gave my last final exam to my last horrible class, graded it, and turned in the grade forms to the horrible department office.  Then, at 3:05 pm, I walked out into the parking lot, got into my car, and drove.

The quickest route to Rock Island took you through godforsaken Texas for five hours, and I wanted out as soon as possible.  So I drove east for two hours, not stopping for food, gas, or bathroom breaks until I saw that "Welcome to Louisiana" sign, breathed deeply, and vowed never to set foot in Texas again.

And I haven't.

I planned to drive the whole 20 hours home straight through, but I'd been up since before dawn grading papers and cleaning my apartment, so at around 12:30 am, I couldn't drive anymore.  I  stopped at a rest stop on Interstate 40, near Forrestville, Arkansas.

In the 1980s you were allowed to park at rest stops and sleep.

After an hour or so, I had to go to the bathroom.  so I went into the little bathroom building, chose a stall, and and sat down.  It had a glory hole looking directly into the next stall!

I knew from my experience at Lambert Airport in St. Louis and the public parks of New Delhi that public restrooms were sometimes used for sex, so I waited there for awhile, peering through the glory hole.  Maybe a horny redneck trucker would stop by and push a Mortadella+ through.

Soon someone came into the next stall.  From what I could see, it was a young guy, probably my age, medium height, pale skin, square hands, smooth chest and belly.  Wearing a blue shirt and jeans.  Holding a magazine.

Did he know I was in the next booth?  Was he interested in public sex, or just doing his business?

I waited.

He sat on the toilet, leafed through the magazine, and started fondling himself.  His penis was average sized, ruddy, cut, with a thick head.  Soon he was aroused.

Put it through the hole!  I thought savagely.

He began masturbating, intent on the magazine. Soon his penis was standing straight up.  He spat on his hand and continued to work it.  But he didn't put it through the hole.

Didn't he know I was there?  I made some coughing noises.

He didn't stop, but he ignored the glory hole.

Maybe he thought I was just doing my business.  I stood, flushed the toilet, and obviously stayed in the stall.

He kept working.

I put my head right up to the hole, so he could see my open mouth.

Nothing.

Why doesn't he want me to go down on him?

I put my eye right up to the hole and looked into the stall.  Nice tight body, taunt, breathing heavily.  Pants around his ankles.

He spurted with a sigh, wiped off with toilet paper, and flushed the toilet.

Feeling rejected and embarrassed, I waited until he zipped up, left the stall, washed his hands in the sink, and swung through the doors.  Then I gave him another few minutes to get into his car and leave.

No such luck -- he was staring at the snacks in in the vending machine.  A very cute college boy with curly red hair and flawless pale skin.

"Hi,"  I said.

He didn't answer.

I got into my car and drove, not stopping again until I reached St. Louis about 7 am.  I stopped at a diner for breakfast.

There was a  cute guy sitting by himself at one of the little tables: about my age, thin, with thick sandy hair, dark eyebrows, and pink lips.

Having been awake for over 24 hours, except for short catnaps, my discretion was gone.

"Hi!  I've had a rough night.  Can I join you?"

He smiled.  "Sure."

I haven't been back to Arkansas in 32 years, either.

See also: Public Cruising in Mississippi in 1984; The Joy of Public Sex; A Hookup in the College Restroom

A Sausage Sighting of a Straight Elitist Philosophy Professor

Plains, May 2016

8:45 am.  I go to a seminar on teaching writing, led by a philosophy professor named Taylor.  There's no space left at the conference table, so I have to sit all by myself in a little chair off to the side.

I'm already in a bad mood.

This Taylor guy is about my height, in his 30s, with rather long hair, combed back, and a beard.  He is wearing a pink button-down shirt, a sports jacket, jeans, and yellow shoes.

Who wears a sports jacket with jeans?  Who wears a pink shirt with yellow shoes?  How pretentious can you get?

When I approach the table, he is talking about Lisbon, "off the beaten path," so it's not so touristy as other European capitals.

Yeah, yeah, I've been places, too, but I don't go around place-dropping.  "Oh, Reykjavik is so off the beaten path, and have you been to Tegucigalpa?"

I hate elitists.

Then comes the proclamation of heterosexuality.  Straight men can't go more than a sentence without proclaiming their straightness, either by referencing their wives or by making a universalizing statement like "my son is at the age when boys begin to notice girls." Taylor does both.

I go to the break room for a banana and yogurt.  He appears and says "I can't resist the siren call to get another bagel."

Ulysses reference?  Ugh!

Then: "My wife loves..."

Proclamation of straightness again?  What is it about this guy?

9:00: Morning Session

Pretentious heterosexual lit.  Have we read The Unbearable Lightness of Being?  It's about a Czech intellectual who is a womanizer, but abandons his many affairs to find true happiness with his wife in Geneva.

Yeah, Geneva, off the beaten path.  Lovely this time of year.

This is going to be a long day.

Then Taylor scoots back in his chair and spreads his legs.

Enormous bulge, full outline of what has to be a semi-aroused Kielbasa+, hanging to the left!

Doesn't he notice?  Or does he not expect anyone to look beneath the belt?

How to introduce pretentious heterosexist lit into your classes.  Students like writing that addresses their interests, like how to get along with the opposite sex.

Ugh.

"When we were in Vienna last summer, my wife and I...."

Double Ugh.

At least there's a memorable bulge to look at, and I might even get a sausage sighting out of the deal.




11:00: Bathroom Break

Taylor heads for the bathroom.  I wait a moment, then follow, timing my entry to get there just as he has unzipped.

He's not at a urinal, he's in a stall!

30 free urinals, and he picks a stall.  Is he that worried about another guy seeing his Kielbasa+?

Back to the seminar.  We discuss technology and student writing, using Turnitin to catch plagiarism, how foreign students don't have the same understanding of plagiarism as we do in the U.S.

Taylor spreads his legs again, letting his heterosexual semi air.

12:00:  Lunch.

Instead of eating the turkey sandwiches, chips, and cookies provided, I hit the gym and lift weights.

 Pumped up, I am cruised a couple of times by callow undergrads on the way back to the seminar room.  A nice break from the heterosexual pretentiousness of my seminar.

1:00: Afternoon Session.

Grading student writing assignments.  Using rubrics.

Watching Taylor spread his legs.

Sample free-writing exercises:
What do you find most attractive about the opposite sex?

Describe your last date as if it was a story.  Begin with the boy calling the girl....

Ugh.

"I was visiting Robert Bly at his summer house in the south of France, and..."

Double ugh.

Taylor's hand falls against his bulge and gives it a brief squeeze.

Everyone pretends not to notice.

3:00: The seminar ends.

I go upstairs to the second floor stacks, anxious to immerse myself in gay lit after a day of heterosexual pretension.  But first I have to use the bathroom.  My favorite facility is secluded, down a hallway from IT Services, with a long row of urinals and three stalls.

The restroom is deserted.  I choose the farthest stall.

It doesn't occur to me that it might be occupied.  Really.The door isn't latched.  I push it open.

Taylor is sitting on the toilet, looking at something on his cell phone.  Aroused.

A Kielbasa+ sticking straight out from beneath his pink shirt!

"Oh, excuse me!" I exclaim, and hastily retreat.

It almost makes the day of heterosexist elitism worthwhile.

See also: My Sausage Sighting List; Teacher Hookups

A Sausage Sighting of The Ex-Wrestler

Long Island, April 2000

You're not supposed to think of people at the workplace as sexual beings.  Supposedly it distracts you from doing your job properly.

Work clothes are designed to minimize his physicality, keep the biceps and bulges under wraps, prevent you from imagining him naked.

But in fact, work clothes become all the more erotic because they're not supposed to be.

College students dress informally of course, wear tight jeans stuffed with socks or shorts that obviously bulge left or right, and as you walk up and down the aisles, you often get a good view of not only bulges but tents, as they struggle with an unexpected arousal.

But college professors dress a bit more formally, with shirts and slacks that keep things hidden.  You rarely see a bulge, never a tent.

Still, you can imagine what they look like naked.

Cruising -- leering, touching, and statements of erotic interest  -- is inappropriate in the closed environment of a workplace, but anyone can look, and once in a while you get to see him in real life.

He may ask you for date or hookup.  In thirteen years as a college professor, not including adjuncting, I've been approached by dozens of students, but never by another professor.  

You may run into him at a Bear Party or a bathhouse.  This is the stuff of porn movies, but it has happened to me only once.

You may see him in the locker room.  That's happened to me three or four times.

You may be standing at the urinal in the restroom at the same time.

That's happened a lot more often, maybe fifteen times.

Ok, most college professors are straight -- the gay ones burnout or get fired quickly -- so they're not asking you for dates or going to bear parties.  They usually don't work out, or not at the same time as you.  But they all stand at urinals.

You can even predict when: academics will use the restroom closest to their office, typically just after teaching a class (after dropping their stuff off in their office) or going to lunch, or just before they leave campus for the day.

Or during those long, boring committee meetings.  He'll probably check out after about an hour and a half into it to use the restroom; or if not, he's sure to jump in the moment the meeting adjourns.

If they're open urinals, with no barrier between, you got it made.

When I was a graduate student at Setauket University, New York, I wanted a sausage sighting of Dr. Chester, a former professional wrestler who taught the history and sociology of sports.

 He was in his 50s, massive, with a huge barrel chest, a bull neck, gigantic wrists and hands.  Unfortunately, he wore a business suit, uncharacteristic for college professors, with slacks that hung straight down and didn't offer a bulge.

He had a wife and kids, so he probably wouldn't be asking me for a date, or showing up at Ravi's Bear Parties on Long Island.

He didn't use the campus gym.

He never taught classes at any time convenient for "accidentally" using the fourth floor restroom.

Besides, during the 1999-2000 year, I was living in Manhattan, commuting to Long Island three times a week, teaching three classes, working on my qualifying exams, going to weekly Bear Parties, and hooking up with the BDSM Birthday Boy, a Man in Black, a teenage model, and Andrew Lloyd Webber.  I was a little too busy to do a lot of strategizing over a mere sausage sighting.

Then, one day in April 2000, late in the afternoon, I was on my way out of the Social Science Building to meet Yuri for dinner.  I didn't really have to go, but I decided to do a pre-emptive, just in case.

I unlocked the outside door and walked through the swinging security door into the faculty men's room.  It was very small, really only big enough for one person, with a toilet stall and a single urinal right next to the sink.  And there, at the urinal, was Dr. Chester, just starting to unwrap the most massive Kovbasa I had ever seen!

It was like a fire hose.  It took two hands to hold it.  Very thick, uncut.

How could he walk around with that thing in his pants?

He glared at me.  "Good afternoon, Boomer," he said  coolly, obviously not happy to be disturbed.  " I'll be through in a moment."

"Oh, sure, take your time," I managed.

He let loose, oblivious to my staring, or thinking that I was just impatient.

When he finished, he played with it for a moment, then turned, still hanging out.  I stepped back to let him past me.  He stood in front of the mirror and played with it a little more, while I watched.

Guys always wrap up while standing in front of the urinal.  They never walk to the mirror, still hanging out.  Unless they want to give you a show.

Was he suggesting something?  Was he offering me that gigantic Kovbasa?

Or was he testing me, to see if I was one of those "predatory" gay guys who accost straight men in urinals?

 I wasn't about to find out.  I went to the urinal and conducted my business, while Dr. Chester wrapped up, washed his hands, and left.

To this day, I wonder what would have happened if I had reached over and touched it.

See also: The Homophobic Student in the Shower; Twelve Teacher Hookups