Thursday, December 15, 2016
300 Naked Men Before Breakfast
Big and small, thin and fat, flaccid and aroused, all ages (18+), races, shapes, and sizes.
And, if I had the time and inclination, I could easily look at 300 more.
When I was growing up in Rock Island, and even through my years in West Hollywood in the 1980s and 1990s, you might see ten pictures of naked men per month, if you were lucky.
They were glossy photos of professional models in expensive magazines.
Nude photos of amateurs were extremely rare. Photo labs wouldn't develop them, so you had to have your own darkroom.
Once I photographed Fred from the waist up immediately after his orgasm. We sent it in to the photo lab, laughing, knowing that the lab technicians would have no idea what they were processing.
Even shirtless photos were rare. Occasionally a shirtless celebrity would show up in a movie magazine. Or you could look at the underwear ads in clothes catalogs.
Beginning around 1990, cameras appeared that developed the pictures on the spot, so you didn't need a photo lab. Suddenly you could get nude photos.
But only of your friends, who you had seen naked in real life. There wasn't much point.
In the 1990s, Usenet groups, and later bulletin boards, allowed you to look at -- and download -- photos of shirtless and naked men for a small fee. Only a few per week, all professional models, but still, it was an amazing improvement.
Checking for the new photos on your usenet groups and bulletin boards became a standard part of your morning routine.
The explosion began around 2007, when smartphones became capable of taking uncensored photos and submitting them instantly.
Suddenly every guy with a smartphone and a bathroom mirror could post himself and his friends on the internet.
Not every guy did, of course: if you were shy, conservative, sensitive, if you had a small penis or a self-esteem problem, if you were worried about your career, you wouldn't bother.
We're much pickier now. A big penis or hairy chest is not enough. To attract our attention, the guy has to have something that stands out: a smile, a tattoo, a special combination of face and physique. Plus we look at the background of the photo, analyze the composition, structure, and lighting.
We have become connoisseurs of naked men.
Which is fine.
But sometimes I miss the days when seeing a photo of a naked man was a rare, exciting experience, something to be cherished.
Not the 20 minutes before breakfast in your daily routine.