Gay male couples be like: We only had sex twice today. Is something wrong?
As far as I can tell, gay men have sex a lot more often than heterosexual men. When you're heterosexual, you look forward to the weekend. When you're gay...well, when was the last time put your head to pillow without having a cock down your throat first? When was the last time you didn't have an orgasm before breakfast? Plus there's sex during dates and hookups, parties devoted to sex, business establishments designed to give you access to many partners.
Straight men feel like Don Juans if they've had six partnrs in the last year. Gay men feel deprived if they've had only six partners this week.
There are three theories about why gay men do it more often than straight men.
The first is homophobic: they are sexually compulsive, addicted to sex with whatever partners they can find, willing or unwilling.
The second is sociological: women are socialized to believe that sex is "love making," an expression of deep emotional commitment that should only occur on special occasions. Men are socialized to believe that sex is a form of recreation. When men want to have sex with women, they are constrained by the "only on special occasions" thing, but two men together can do it as often as they want, basically whenever they're not doing something else.There may be some truth to #2. Lesbian couples be like: we had sex once, a couple of years ago. Who knows? We may do it again sometime.
But I favor the historical theory: we grew up hearing, incessantly, that same-sex desire does not and cannot exist, that it is beyond the boundaries of what can be imagined, that men can only ever desire women. We still hear it every day, in "she's every man's fantasy" and "when a man loves a woman" and "there's a girl for every boy" and "a man without a woman is nothing at all." So, even 40 years after coming out, whenever we experience same-sex desire, it's startingly fresh and new.
Every time we feel joy at the sight of a masculine face or chest or cock, it's like the only time in history that a boy has liked a boy.
I'd say a bit of two and three. After all, gay men are men.
ReplyDeleteA third reason is because modern Western society has never sanctified gay men's relationships until recently, so gay men have had to reinvent taboos for each challenge. Also a reason your generation of gay men had more partners by my age than my generation, even though my generation comes out earlier.
I was thinking more of number of acts rather than number of partners . Having sex , sat, 18 times a week vs once a week
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