The Roommate of the Boyfriend of the Roommate of the Date of my Roommate

West Hollywood, April 1986

In the 1980s, photographs of naked men were rare, even in West Hollywood.  There were a few gay porn magazines -- Mandate, In Touch, Blue Boy -- but they were hard to find -- the Different Light Bookstore didn't stock any, for fear of being raided.  The only place in town that I knew of where you could get them was Book Circus.  They were prohibitively expensive, two or three times what ordinary magazines cost.

As a result, we guarded our collections jealously, keeping them hidden in locked drawers, rarely bringing them out except to show at parties, and to impress dates with.

I was especially protective of my In Touch for Men magazine, #72, October 1982, which I bought at the adult bookstore in Bloomington.  It was the first gay magazine I ever bought.

Before setting foot in that adult bookstore, I thought that gay people had nothing but badly-mimeographed newsletters, but here was a big, bold, glossy magazine like the ones they sold at supermarket check-out stands, with articles, columns, and everything!

A  tribute to Steve Reeves.

A retrospective on gay icons of the 1960s, like Ron Ely of Tarzan.

And naked men!

It was one of my most prized possessions.

Tuesday, April 8th, 1986

 I got back from my night class at USC at 11:00 pm, exhausted, ready for bed.  My roommate Alan the Pentecostal Porn Star was sitting in the living room with a cute Asian guy, looking at my copy of The Celluloid Closet.  

"This is Dennis from Taiwan," he said. "We went to see Lucas -- Corey Haim in his underwear, pretty hot, huh?"

Dennis from Taiwan looked up and smiled. He was short, slim, a bit on the femme side, with pale skin, thick eyebrows, and horn-rimmed glasses.

"Hi," I said, staring at Alan.  I never knew him to spend the night of a first date reading.  Maybe things weren't going well.

"Hey...do you suppose we could borrow your 1982 In Touch?  I want to show Dennis the article on Steve Reeves.  He doesn't believe that the guy was a gay icon."

"Um...I'm really tired.  I was just going to go to bed."  Meaning: I won't be around to supervise.

"That's ok.  We'll just look at the article, and put it back in your room when we're done."

Well, anything to help him get Dennis from Taiwan off the couch and into his bedroom.

Wednesday, April 9th

In the morning when I woke up, Alan and Dennis were already gone.  I checked my desk and dresser.  No In Touch.  I checked the coffee table, the kitchen table, Alan's room, even the bathroom.  It was gone!

There were no cell phones in those days, so I had to wait for Alan to get home from work.  When he came in, the first thing I said was "Hey, where's my In Touch?"

"Oh, sorry.  I didn't think you'd mind.  Dennis wanted to take it home to make a copy of the article."

"Huh?"  I don't know if I was more mad over the "borrowing," or shocked that Dennis would take a gay porn magazine into Kinko's.

"He's going to use the copying machine at work, after everyone goes home," Alan explained.  "And he'll bring it back during our next date."

"You'd better call and remind him, pronto!" I exclaimed.

"Chill.  I can't call so soon.  Last night was our first date."  It was customary to wait 24-48 hours after the first date, to avoid appearing needy.  "I'll call tomorrow."

Thursday, April 10th

Obviously Alan couldn't call Dennis at work -- it would have to be in the evening, when I was at USC.  When I got back to the apartment at 11:00 pm, Alan was sitting up watching television.

"Dennis said 'no' to a second date," he said morosely.

"Bummer.  Where's my In Touch?"

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to ask him for it."

"His telephone number.  Now!"

It was a little late, but I called Dennis.  He invited me over to pick up the magazine that night, but I was too tired.

"Tomorrow night, then.  Can you get here before 7:00 pm?  I have a date."

I worked at the Community Redevelopment Agency until 5:00 pm on Fridays.  I could make it back to West Hollywood before 7:00, if I skipped the gym.

Friday, April 11th

Dennis lived in an apartment on DeLongpre, about a mile from us.

He answered the door in a towel -- quite a nice, tight physique -- and kissed me (the standard greeting in West Hollywood).

 "Sorry -- I was taking a shower.  Your magazine is in my room.  Come on in while I dress."

I barely managed to enjoy the sausage sighting as my roommate's date towelled off and put on his underwear and pants.  I was busy following his directions -- "It's probably on the desk -- no?  Try inside the night stand.  Maybe I put it with my other porn mags.  No?  Under the bed, next to the trick rag?  Hmm...where could it be?  I showed it to my roommate, Clay.  Could he have borrowed it?"

Another 'borrower"!  I thought savagely.  My roommate's date's roommate.  "Where is this Clay person now?"

"Probably having dinner with his boyfriend Rusty, out in Silver Lake.  And then he'll spend the night.  Listen -- " he touched me on the shoulder.  "I hope it's not too soon, but I thought we had some chemistry the other night, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner..."

He leaned in for a kiss.  I kissed and groped him for a moment, and then said "Telephone number, now!"

No answer at Rusty's.  There was nothing to do but wait until the next day, and call Dennis's roommate's boyfriend again.

Saturday, April 12th.

I called early, so they wouldn't be off getting brunch.

"Hm...sure, your magazine is here," Rusty, the boyfriend of my roommate's date's roommate, told me. He had a brief conversation with someone else in the room.  "Sorry, Clay thought it belonged to Dennis, so there'd be no problem borrowing it.  He'll bring it to the house later, and you can pick it up there."

"No, stay where you are!" I exclaimed.  "I'm coming to you."

"Ok, but knock loud.  We're going back to bed."

The address he gave was all the way out in Silverlake, a 45 minute drive from West Hollywood.  I still managed to arrive before 10:00.

A cute blond in his 30s answered the door.  Wearing only a red bath robe.  Smooth tight chest, hard biceps, square workman's hands.

"Hi, I'm Rusty," he said, kissing me. "I sent Clay out for bagels, and there's coffee on."

"Thanks," I said.  "Do you have my magazine?"

"That was a great article about Steve Reeves," Rusty said.  "It gave me a new appreciation for the old Hercules sword-and-sorcery movies. Whoa, it's hot in here.  Do you mind if I take my bathrobe off?"  Without waiting for my answer, he stripped.

"Yeah, it was great," I said.  "So, where is the magazine?"

"Oh, we left it on the coffee table.  Go take a look.  How do you like your coffee?"

"Black."

He walked toward the kitchen, his huge uncut meat swinging between his legs. "So, are you and Clay good friends?  Like up for sharing?"

"Actually, we haven't even met yet.  He's the roommate of my roommate's date."

"Darling, you're practically brothers."

I sorted through the Frontiers, Advocates, and coffee table books.  Then to the end table, with Architectural Digest.  The magazine holder.

"No In Touch here!" I called.

"That's funny, I know we left it on the coffee table."  He appeared in the doorway, naked.  "Hey, you know what?  I'll bet my roommate, Arturo, came in late last night and borrowed it.  He's in the room at the end of the hall -- you want to go wake him up?  Tell him we have bagels coming."

I went to the end of the hall and opened the door without knocking.  A guy I assumed was Arturo, the roommate of my roommate's date's roommate's boyfriend,  was lying on the bed -- in his 30s, very buffed, olive skin, thick black hair, a short beard.  A Mortadella+, fully aroused.  He was beating off!

He smiled at me.  "Hi.  See anything you like?"

"In Touch?"

"You can touch anything you want."

"No, In Touch, the magazine.  Do you have the October 1982 issue?  With the Steve Reeves retrospective?"

"Oh, that.  I thought it was Rusty's."  He took his hand off his cock.  "Over on the desk."

"Thanks."  This time it actually was on the desk!  "By the way, bagels are almost here."

"I'll be out in a bit."

I didn't stick around for the beating off.  Or the bagels.  I was anxious to get In Touch back into the locked drawer in my bedroom.

Later it dawned on me that I had passed up opportunities to date Dennis, share Clay and Rusty, and go down on Arturo.

But at least I got my magazine back.

See also: Comic Book Guy's Date with Jeff Stryker; My First Visit to an Adult Bookstore.